Today I had my true first hormonal meltdown. I should have been walking around with this warning sign:
So far in my pregnancy, I've been generally clam. (For the most part) I admit when it's that time of the month I have my moments. My family would like to joke and say "Oh no Megan's on her broomstick again." I'm really surprise my moods haven't been too bad since I've been pregnant. But today was just an overwhelming array of emotions that I just couldn't handle. It all started when I went to leave this morning to go to my eye appointment, I was already running late, and when I went to close the garage door, I shut only half-way, looking all crooked like it fell off it's track. I tried playing around with it but it didn't do any good. I was mad and said screw it, and went to my appointment, freaking out thinking great, someone is going to break into our house. Of course I called Matt, in a frantic panic, he didn't answer, so I left a freaked out message. "You need to come home the garage door is broke, people are going to steal things in are house!" After my appointment I came back home and realized I needed to at least look our door to the house (for some reason the thought didn't occur to before I went to the eye doctor.
So when I went to work I was already in a bitter mood. Though luckily crisis was averted when Matt called to tell me he was taking the rest of the day off to go back home. And he did fix the garage door. I guess the spring broke and a wire was hanging funny. At work I then started to freak out because the loaner computer I had (my other computer is at the Cincinnati office getting reformatted because apparently it thinks I have a version of Windows that doesn't even exist.) was so slow, it took over ten minutes just to load up a program and then I couldn't get on to the network. A normal person would try to figure out the problem or investigate a little figure. My solution was to walk around the office screaming and freaking out. I was just so angry that things couldn't go my way. I had to take a walk office to get a breathe of fresh air, just to calm myself down. Here it turns out the reason I could not get on to the network is because I wasn't plugged in to the Ethernet cord. Duh!
So the entire day, I was just angry, angry things weren't going my way, angry that I couldn't get any work done. Just plain angry. It was ridiculous. I really did live up to the crazy hormonal pregnant lady name today. I do like that I could blame my fits of rage on my pregnancy, but I really don't know what went over me. It was like I was a monster who couldn't contain itself.
Because I was in such a bad mood, I refused to make dinner tonight. Matt didn't want to go out, and only would take carry out, so I compromised with Chinese, (even though I've been avoiding Chinese like a plague since I've been pregnant because it makes me sick!) because that is the only thing that Matt wanted to eat. I was hoping if I order something less processed and filled with MSG, I wouldn't get sick. Well that failed, I got sick from eating it. My favorite part of the day was when Matt was on the phone with his parents and they asked how I was doing and he said, "Megan is a crazy hormonal pregnant lady today, she is mean." Geez, thanks Matt. His defense was that I said I was being a crazy hormonal pregnant lady, he was only repeating my own words. Which is true but do I need to sound like a monster to his parents? Oh well. Maybe it's ok because I'm pregnant.
I really hope I can contain these raging hormones I'm having. I really don't like what kind of person it is making me into. Though I've seen the nicest people I've known get pretty nasty when they were pregnant, so maybe I should just take this as a free ticket to be a bitch. Maybe I should start using this line with people "Sorry, I'm being a bitch, I'm pregnant." It's a good enough excuse, they can't yell at you, after all you're super sensitive and with child. Though I wonder what excuse I'll use when I'm no longer pregnant. Sigh. . .