Saturday, January 28, 2012

Life never goes as plan:

One thing that I have learned in my pregnancy, and I know it will be the same for motherhood, that nothing goes as plan. You can have everything all perfectly planned out, and a list of perfected ideals of how you think things are going to go. But you might as well throw that out the window, because things never go as plan, that's life. Reading all the pregnancy books, progressing in my pregnancy, and mapping out my birth plan, I had this perfected envision of what my pregnancy would be like. Well now that I only have a few weeks left, I'm starting to realize that this perfected envision is pretty much a pipe dream. And it's just better to go with the flow and realize that things never go as planned.

I know I have complained quite a bit in my blog, and you may think otherwise, but generally, my pregnancy has been pretty good, I had morning sickness, but it was manageable, and I loved the second trimester, some days I forgot I was pregnant. And then came the third trimester, where I feel like the shit has hit the fan. Ok, maybe not. I guess I just thought I would have a "normal" pregnancy" like most people. But now I'm beginning to think there is no such thing a normal. The high blood pressure such started around 30 weeks, in a normal pregnancy you only have to see the doctor twice a month until the last four weeks of pregnancy. Well lucky me I get to see the doctor twice a week, and get non-stress test done. And then I have to get test after test just to check up on things to make sure everything is ok. Like pee in a container for 24 hours. I got to do it again yesterday! Fun! (Not really) If nothing else I'm glad the baby is doing good despite my blood pressure. Then two weeks ago I got put on bed rest, working from home for 4 hours a day again because of the high blood pressure. This set up was short lived when yesterday my blood pressure sky rocketed, and I called the doctor and they told me to go to Labor and Delivery. As soon as I got the phone call, I got myself in panic mode. I was freaking out, thinking able I going to be having a baby this weekend? I can't even describe every thought that was running through my head at that moment. Now if I were to give birth this weekend the baby should be fine, I'm considered full term this Tuesday, but still it scared the crap out of me, because that moment was not part of the "plan", I had envisioned in my mind as the ideal birthing experience. My ideal plan is to not be induced, not to have to use pain meds, not to have a c-section, and to have the baby around 40 weeks. Yes, now I'm starting to laugh at this plan because I realize of course most people ideally would like their birthing experience to be that way, but of course life has other plans and it doesn't go that way. I sadly started to realize this yesterday. Luckily my blood pressure went down and there was my little guy is still baking which I'm glad. But the doctor told me that I had to be put on strict bed rest, so that means no more working from home, and no cooking, cleaning, etc. Again another plan that has failed, I wanted to take 12 weeks off of work. Well since I've been put on bed rest, my FMLA starts now, since I was working four hours in a day, I was using less FMLA, which means two weeks of work, I'm only using one week of FMLA. Well that was short lived, so at this point I'll probably only have 8 weeks with the baby after he is born until I have to go back to work. And I was wanting 12 weeks! Such as life.

I was also hoping I wouldn't have to get induce. Another thing that is going off my plan. When I started to get high blood pressure, the doctor mentioned that I may have to get induced at 39 weeks. The thought upset me, because I really don't want to be induced, because I know this makes labor more painful, and more of a possibility of having to get a c-section if induction causes distress on the baby. I was hopeful last Monday when my blood pressure was amazing (I'm beginning to think it was a fluke that day, because apparently I was spilling protein in my urine and the nurse was new and didn't have the blood pressure pump thing on me very tight) and the doctor said that maybe induction didn't have to happen at 39 weeks, if everything continued to look good. But then my blood pressure started creeping up again, and I was spilling protein again on Thursday. So the doctor told me yesterday, if my protein test comes back over 300, that I may have to get induced at 37 weeks. Which also scares the crap out of me consider that is next week! I won't find out the results of my urine test until this Monday. So again, my original plan of wanting to have this baby around 39-40 weeks, is most likely going out the window. And being induced at this point is looking like a 80% possibility.

So at this point I know it's just better to go with the flow, and let things happen. Earlier in my pregnancy, I filled out a birth plan, and was so insistent on wanting to make sure that I used it when I went into labor. But now I've realized at this point just want to have a healthy baby, that a birth plan at this point has been thrown out the window.

And I've pretty much have made this song the theme song of my pregnancy:

Twilight by the Twilight Singers

It's called Twilight by the Twilight Singers, and the main chorus of the song, which I keep singing in my head over and over again is "everything's gonna be alright..."And it makes me feel better because I realize despite all the plans I have laid out, it's not going to go to plan but regardless everything is going to be alright.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Keep Calm and Carry On

I the last few months I've heard this quote "Keep Calm and Carry On". My co-worker would say it quite often.(Especially when I had a few of my pregnancy spaze out moments at work.) I never realize that it was an actual quote. I just thought it was something profound that she liked to say. And then it became the catch phrase at work to motivate us at work. My co-worker gave us a copy of this, in green:

I seriously thought that she took the time to type up and create this beautiful logo with that catch phrase. Little did I know that this is a very well known logo. Now I see it all the time. I don't know where I was, because I feel like I've never seen it before. So after she gave it me, I had to look it up on Wikipedia, because I was curious to know who even said this quote. I found out in awe and wonder that it was Winston Churchill who said it. I said "Oh I didn't realize Winston Churchill said that did you?" And then I got made fun of by my other co-worker because didn't realize that it was Winston Churchill who said that. She said "Duh Megan where have you been?" I guess I just don't pay attention to popular quotes and sayings.

But anyways I really as I'm approaching the end of my pregnancy, I'm starting to feel like this saying is the motto of my life that or my pregnancy. Me being a very high strung spastic person, I've realized I need to come to the point where I need to just stay clam and let things happen. And just go with flow, for the sake of my high blood pressure and my baby. And I must say this has helped me not lose my sanity, and go all crazy that things aren't 100 percent ready. At this point I'm just going to keep calm and carry on. It will all work itself out.

Most people at this point of my pregnancy have everything ready. Such as the baby's room is all painted, with the crib, changing table and the room all ready. If the baby were to come tomorrow, everything would be ready. Well this is not the case with me. If the baby were to come tomorrow, I wouldn't be completely ready. The baby's room is pretty much in disarray. We haven't completely painted the room yet. The baby's bed is not done yet nor is the diaper changing table. This is what the room looks like right now:

Yep, pretty much baby stuff everywhere. Though I've spent a little time at least organizing it. And even though all the baby's clothes are in baskets, at least they are all folded up nicely. So I'm at the point it's just keep calm, carry on. Really there is no reason to freak out even though I'm due in like 3 to 4 weeks. I have all the baby stuff I need. We have a pack and play he can sleep in the first month, and it has a changing diaper area attached to it. And we have all the diapers and clothes for him. It's just not in an organized fashion. Even though on the surface the baby's room looks like pure chaos, I am in fact ready for this baby. Matt will have everything ready, after the baby comes, so it will all work out at the end. He's been actually really hard getting the diaper changing table done. He is making the baby bed and diaper changing table/drawer from scratch (following a plan) And since he gets a 6 week paternity leave from work, (which is really nice) he's going to spend the time making the baby bed and painting the baby's room. So I know it will all work out at the end. It's very important at this point not to cringe when people ask me "Are you ready for the baby? Do you have his room done yet?" Because in theory I do. Which is why it's important not to have one of my Megan freak out moments (which I had a few of those on my wedding day) because in theory things aren't ready. But at this point I just need to keep calm and carry on.


Friday, January 20, 2012

Bed Rest Adventures

One of my good friends, is so wonderful and is emailing me fun things to do while being on bed rest. Each day she sends me something to do. Yesterday was the first day, which I still need to work on, is to write letters in the future for my little guy. Like different milestones in his life like first day of school, graduating from high school, getting married, etc. Which I think is really cool, though I have no idea what I'm going to say in these letters. So I have to think about this more... If I was having a girl, I think it would be easier to say things, but with a boy it's a bit harder. But anyways today's quest was to create a playlist of my favorite song in each year, from when I was born to the present year. I must say this was a fun quest, because I love music, and I already created the playlist for it, now I just need to burn the cd so I have some fun music to jam to. When I came up with this list, I must say 1995 must be my favorite year of music, because I had so many songs I wanted to put in this year. I love 90's music! My list stops at 2011, since only a few weeks have occurred in 2012, so not that many songs have been released yet.

So here are my top 27 songs starting with the year I was born 1984-
1984- Eyes without a Face- Billy Idol
1985- Everybody wants to rule the world-Tears for Fears
1986-Take me home Tonight- Eddie Money
1987- With or Without you- U2
1988- Father Figure- George Michael
1989- Wicked Game- Chris Issak
1990- Must have been love- The Roxettes
1991- Black- Pearl Jam
1992- No Rain- Blind Melon
1993- Linger- Cranberries
1994- No excuses- Alice in Chains
1995- You oughta Know- Alanis Morrisette
1996-"1979"-Smashing Pumpkins
1997- How's it going to be- Third eye blind
1998- One Week- Bare naked ladies
1999-Take my picture- Filter
2000- Change House of Flies- Deftones
2001-Amber- 311
2002- Dilemma- Nelly and Kelly Rowland
2003- Such Great Heights- Postal Service
2004- Mr. Brightside- The Kllers
2005- Lying is the most fun without taking a girl's clothes off- Panic at the Disco
2006- 9 Crimes- Damiem Rice
2007- Ride- Cary Brothers
2008- That's not my name- Ting Tings
2009- Home- Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeroes
2010- Futile Devices- Sufjan Stevens
2011- Repetition- TV on the Radio

And there is my fun list! I must say I'm enjoying my bed rest time. I've been catching up with episodes of 30 rock and Big Bang theory.Tomorrow my sister in law is coming to help me make some more frozen meals! I can't wait.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Working from Home

So yesterday, as expected I got put on bed rest. Though my doctor and my job was nice enough to agree to let me work from home for four hours a day. It's nice working from home instead of just being put on bedrest and not making anything at all. Because FMLA starts immediately since I'm on bedrest. But because I can work limited hours, I'm using less FLMA time. I want to use the most FLMA time when the baby comes not on bedrest. So today was my second day working from home and I must say I enjoy the set up. I have my laptop, answer emails, make some calls. And I felt more productive working from home for four hours verse working at the office for 8 hours.

So here is my nice set-up. I can watch tv while working, and have a nice view of a cute sleeping Marco:

So working from home is making me wish I could work from home forever. Not that I don't like working at the office. But working from home definitely has its perks. So here are my top 10 reasons why I enjoy working from home:

1) I can sleep in and set my own hours.

2) I can spend the day hanging out with cute sleeping Marco, he stands by my side the entire day.

3) I don't have to dress nice, which is good considering most of my maternity clothes aren't starting to fit me anymore. I could just work naked if I wanted to and no one would ever know. But don't worry I don't walk around the house naked. I don't even want to see that right now.

4) I don't have to worry about putting on make-up, doing my hair, and looking presentable. I can look like I just rolled out of bed because no one is going to see me at all.

5) I don't have to waste gas driving to work. It's a total of 28 miles driving to and from work. So I can save money on gas!

6) I can jam to music, crank it up without disturbing anyone else, because I'm in the privacy of my own home.

7) I don't have distractions like I do in the office, like talking to my co-workers, wasting time, etc. I just want to work and get it done. Which is funny that some places don't allow people working from home because they don't think they would be as productive, but I definitely think I'm way more productive at home than work.

8)I can eat snacks and have an unlimited supply of yummy things to eat when I get hungry.

9) Sitting in my bed and working is way more comfortable than sitting at my desk chair.

10) Matt can visit me when he stops by home for lunch, which he does a lot. Today he brought me some Wendy's for lunch.

So as you can see, working from home definitely has some perks! Not that I don't like working at the office. I already miss my co-workers. Which two of them stopped by today! But it would be nice to take care of a baby while working from home. One can dream and hope. But in the time being, I'll just enjoy my four hours working from home for the next few weeks.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

35 Weeks Today!

I snatch this little bit from someone else's blog, it's a little pregnancy questionnaire, and I thought I would answer it since I have nothing better to do.

How far along? Exactly 35 Weeks! I'm getting closer to the due date!

Total weight gain/loss: To much. I've already gained 45 pounds. Boo!!

Maternity clothes? I've been wearing maternity clothes since like 12 weeks. Now my maternity clothes are getting too small, a few pairs of pants don't fit me anymore. And some of my maternity shirts are getting too short, because my belly keeps sagging lower and lower.

Stretch marks? Too many! I have them perfectly arranged around my belly button. It looks like a bear clawed my belly. And I recently discovered some on my ass. Very depressing..

Sleep: Actually my sleep has been surprisingly good. I get up about 3 times in the night to go pee, but I usually go right back to sleep. But Sunday night my baby was keeping me up, and decided to kick me and dance around keeping me up. But I can't complain because most nights my sleeps have been wonderful.

Best moment this week: My shower I had on Sunday.

Have you told family and friends: Forever and ago..

Miss Anything?Too many things such as Alcohol, eating sweet things without feeling guilty about it or getting yelled at about it, miss being able to walk and bend over without it being painful.

Movement: He loves to move the most at night. He's a night owl! He's definitely a kicker!

Food cravings:Ice cream, cheese, pretzels.

Anything making you queasy or sick:Not anymore I guess..

Have you started to show yet: Yes like ten years ago...

Gender: Boy!!

Size of baby: He's the size of a melon or something. I know he's like over 5 pounds at this point.

Labor Signs: Luckily no. I think I have been getting Braxton Hicks on occasion but other than that no labor signs!

Belly Button in or out? Still an innie.

Wedding rings on or off? My real wedding ring has been off since I was 16 weeks, now I've been wearing a fake ring

Happy or Moody most of the time: I would say happy though other people may beg to differ and say I'm moody.

Looking forward to: My baby coming!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Top 10 things pregnant women get asked a million times

I mentioned some of this in a previous blog entry, but one thing I've discovered being pregnant, is I get asked the same questions over an over again by random strangers, friends, family, etc. Yesterday, my friend said I should just wear a tee-shirt with all the answers to the same questions I keep getting asked. Which I'm starting to think maybe I should. I could just have the top ten questions asked all on one tee shirt. That would save me from answering the same thing twenty times a day. hehehe.. Not that I mind answering the same questions over and over again, but it does start becoming annoying.

So here are the top ten questions asked during the duration of my pregnancy, in the order that I have progressed in my pregnancy, with my snide remarks of how I wish I could answer the question:

1) Have you been having bad morning sickness? (As I look like crap and about to vomit again)

2) Are you excited? (No, I'm terribly upset by this, I've only been wanting this for the last five plus years. lol)

3) Do you want a girl or a boy? (Neither, I want an alien)

4) When do you find out the gender of the baby? (I'm psychic I don't need to find out the gender, I already know)

5) Do you have the baby's room done yet? (I have no snide remarks for this one because I'm slacking and still do not have the room done yet)

6) Do you have a name picked out yet? What is it? (Again no snide remarks here it's a surprise, but constantly asking me is not going to get me to tell you what name I have in mind?)

7) How are you feeling? (Extremely pregnant)

8) Are you ready for the baby? (As ready as I can be)

9) How long of a maternity leave are you taking? Are you going back to work? (I wish it was a forever long maternity leave)

10) When are you due? How many weeks do you have left? (I'm actually not pregnant. Wouldn't that be funny to see the looks on people's faces if I said that.)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Shower Love Part Two

Today was a wonderful day. Despite the agonizing pressure pain I'm currently experiencing. It's suddenly become more painful to walk, and I feel like there is a giant bowling ball in between my crotch. Well I've been feeling like that, but it feels like a bowling ball times ten right now. Sorry, too much information. And I just made a new recent discovery that made me shriek in horror. I've discovered stretch marks in the most unimaginable place. Ok, maybe not unimaginable. But it's a place where I would have never though stretch marks would pop up. Yes, my ass. Sorry again too much information. But seriously? Why did stretch marks have to pop up there? I don't even think my butt has gotten that big since being pregnant, but apparently my skin thinks so. But anyways, the point I was trying to make, despite those two not nice thing, today has been a wonderful day!

I had my shower for my husband's side of the family. So the shower was at my mother-in-law's house. Just like at my other shower, which I had a little helper name Anika, who helped me open my presents, this time I had four little helpers, my niece Sheridan, Serenity, and cousins Faith and Hope. And what good little helpers they were, Faith or Hope, I get them mixed up because they are identical twins, but one of them, had a garage bag and picked up all the wrapping paper as soon as I opened a present. Which I absolutely love, considering I have an absurd OCD thing with wrapping paper being on the floor. For some reason seeing an extravagant amount of wrapping paper on the floor makes me cringe. This is why I can't enjoy opening presents on Christmas morning, like normal people who leave the paper all over the floor until after they. But the wrapping paper being picked up was shortly lived, because about half-way during the present opening, Hope and Faith decided to throw all the wrapping paper out of the bag and try to make "designs" as they call it with the wrapping paper. Luckily I decided to let go my ridiculous OCD compulsive with wrapping paper, and let kids be kids and enjoy themselves.

On a different note, I'm starting to think pregnancy is contagious, there were a total of four pregnant women, including myself at the shower.

The shower was great. I got some adorable outfits, diapers, diaper bag, some books, high chair, pack-in-play and more. And Matt's wonder aunts made some frozen meals for me for after the baby, so I don't have to make dinner! And Matt's wonder Aunt has offered to watch our baby for a year so we don't have to put him in daycare! I love Matt's family. They are amazing! Ok, my family, don't get jealous or take this comment personally, this doesn't mean I like Matt's family more than you guys. I just have to put that disclaimer in there. I love my own family and Matt's family just the same. :)

I really think the nesting thing is starting to come into gear, because I couldn't wait to get home just to organize all my presents, and clean more baby clothes. I know I'm a freak, that I was excited about that. And I couldn't wait to comply my list of all the stuff I still need to get. Which is actually not too much. My mom and I are going on a shopping adventure tomorrow, to get the remaining must have items for the baby. I made Matt mad because when we got home, he was just going to leave all the presents in the car until tomorrow, but me being a persistent person, that just had to organize all the stuff I just got, took matters into my own hands and started to take all the presents out of the car. Which of course is apparently bad for a pregnant lady to lift all the stuff out of the car, so he felt the need to have to take the stuff out of the car, because I was being stubborn and just couldn't wait.

Now that my 2nd shower is done, and I'll be doing the remaining shopping tomorrow, I'm feeling more at ease that I'm prepared for the baby. Well, maybe not quite mentally prepared for the baby, but at least I have every I need to take care of baby.

On a different note, yay for it being a 3 day weekend and not having to go to work tomorrow!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

The adventures of high blood pressure

Everyone wants to have a pregnancy that goes smoothly with no worries and full of ease. I was hoping for that, and approaching the end of my pregnancy, I thought I would have a worry free pregnancy. But boy was I wrong. As I have mentioned I've been having high blood pressure. As a result of that I have to have non-stress tests done twice a week. Tomorrow will be the fifth time I come in for a non-stress test, and boy do I feel like a non-stress test professional. I get weighed, pee in a cup, and then lay on a table for about 30-40 minutes until the baby moves a certain amount of time. While I understand this is for all for the good health of my baby to make sure he is doing ok,these stress tests are becoming annoying to do. Though it's an ease of mind to see the baby's heart rate at a good place, and not to see myself have any contractions, (The non-stress test also tracks if any contractions are occurring.)It's just starting to become inconvenient, as I have to miss a couple of hours of work and drive the opposite direction away from work, to get these non-stress tests done. I'm starting to feel like a regular with the nurses at the office.

Last Monday, the paper ran out in the machine that graphs the baby's heart rate. And of course I didn't notice this until 20 minutes later when the nurse came back. But it wasn't like I could have gotten the nurse anyways, because I'm attached to all these straps and cords. So of course I had to sit there for another 20 minutes, because the paper ran out only after 8 minutes of testing, so they needed more data. The machine they use looks like its from 1980. Not only did the machine fail me, the doctor informs me I need to do a 24 hour urine test to check for protein in my urine. Because of my high blood pressure, I have a high change of getting preclampsia, especially as I get further along in my pregnancy. The doctor tells me I have to pee in this orange container for 24 hours. And of course, I started work again the next day. And of course the doctor could tell me to take the test when I was on my week long vacation. Boo. So I had a fun adventure of taking a giant cooler to work. Because my container of urine had to stay cold. I felt like I was carrying organs or something. That or bringing some cold ones to work. And then every time I had to go to the bathroom, it was a big 15 minute production. I would discretely take my container out of my big blue cooler, and but it in a bag and walk to the bathroom. Then I had to put this ridiculous bowl thing that perfect fit into the toilet seat. After I would go pee I would have to pour it carefully in my orange container. And then I had to clean out the white container. Yes, sorry for all the lovely details, but these are the kinds of things they don't tell you that can happen to pregnant women. I never realized taking a piss could be such a big production. Thank the Lord my results came back negative and there are not signs of preeclampisa. But the doctor sounded like I'll have to do this again. Yah!! Not..

Thursday was a crazy day. I had another non-stress test, and then had to drive striaght to another office about 20 miles away to get my ultrasound done at a high risk doctor. The ultrasound went really well. My baby is already four pounds and 12 oz. So his growth is right where it needs to be. Looking at ultrasounds still confuse me. I thought since this time I could actually see the screen, that I would understand what was going on, but I was still confused what body part was what. Though the tech showed us his heart which was really cool. And they showed that he had a little hair fuzzies showing up in the back of his head. So he may have a lot of hair when he is born. Which I'm surprised because I haven't had any heartburn in my pregnancy. Just once for the first time on New Years Eve. Though I know the heartburn thing is an old wives tales. So the ultrasound went wonderful. The only thing was the tech brought the doctor in to look everything again. And she said that the baby may only have one kidney. Either it is a pelvic kidney where it is sitting really low and they can't see it or he only has one kidney. Of course this started to freak me out. But the doctor reassured me that people can live a healthy life with only one kidney. If nothing else I'm trying to look at the bright side of all of this. If I didn't have high blood pressure, I would have never had the ultrasound and I would have never found out that he could be potentially be missing a kidney.

Of course my high blood pressure has not decline. It's remained generally high. Though I'm glad that the baby is still in good health despite my stupid high blood pressure.

On a different note, my baby should be arriving in about 5 weeks or so. It's really starting to freak me out! I can't believe I only have about 5 weeks left. Where has the time gone?