Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Bottomless Pit

It is really sad to know that according to pregnancy books, during the first trimester, you are suppose to eat the same amount of calories recommended for your BMI. Which I was able to do for the most part, considering I wasn't hungry half the time and puking my guts out. I must say I'm secretly jealous of the ones who lose weight during the first trimester. Not that losing weight during pregnancy is a good thing,but it does mean they probably will gain less in the total duration of their pregnancy.Or maybe not, I could be totally wrong on that theory, for me, even though I've eaten about the same pre-pregnancy, I'm still packing on the pounds. I'm surprised I didn't get a lecture from the doctor this past Monday, because it looks like I've gained 12 pounds so far in my pregnancy, and I've just started my second trimester. I don't think I really gained 12 pounds maybe 7 pounds, but like I stated in my earlier blog entry I made the mistake of telling the nurse a really low pre-pregnancy weight number. So I just look like a fat cow that has gain a lot of weight early on in my pregnancy. Though I was happy that I've only gained about a pound and a half since my last visit to the doctor which was a month ago.

So anyways, the very sad part of what I've been reading in the pregnancy books, is that during the second and third trimester, you are only suppose to eat 300 additional calories. Sometimes I wish it was more like 3000 additional calories, because now that I'm entering the second trimester and having less morning sickness, I feel like a bottomless pit, just wanting to eat, and eat, and eat. So the expression "Eating for two." is totally a myth. And supposedly you should not literally eat for two. But man in the past week, I've felt like wanting to eat for two, because I'm so hungry!

Last week was my sad moment of pregnancy shame. And I'm sure it won't be my first. About 10:00 o'clock at night, I was really really hungry. So I ate like a half bag of potato chips. But then I still felt really hungry. So I at 3 bread sticks. Then like a half hour later, I still felt extremely hungry, so I ate two homemade chocolate chip cookies. After-wards I felt really guilty, like I had a fat girl moment purging myself with large amounts of food. I definitely exceeded my extra 300 calories that day. hehehe.. Today is another great example of shame, but I just couldn't say no. I went out to Wilmington to meet a volunteer, and my boss went with me. We got some Wendy's on the way. I got some chicken nuggets, a small order of fries, and a big giant thing of lemonade oh and wait a small frosty too. I know, all that food for one person. Well then afterwards like two hours later, we are on our way back to work, and my boss says, "How about I treat you to some ice cream at Mcdonalds?" I couldn't say no, that would be rude! So a second helping of ice cream for the day. Oh well I got my surplus of calcium. So I ate a snack size McFlurry. And then I just felt ashamed, like I snuck into Mom's cookie jar just one too many times. Eating all of that food must have seriously bloated me up, because when I came back to the office, people at work suddenly noticed how much I was showing. It was like wham!

Oh well at this point I'm going to embrace my pregnancy, and embrace the fact that people like giving me a lots of food. And that I don't get judge eating as much as a family of four would eat, because after-all I'm pregnant. I love hearing that phrase, "It's ok Megan, you're pregnant." Because I'm pregnant I'm sure I would hear this statement, "It's ok Megan you just ate a whole fried Chicken, your pregnant." Even though people may be secretly judging and thinking "Whoa she went over her extra 300 calories, and just ate for four, not two."

My goal is not to exceed over 180 pounds, which right now would be an extra 17 pounds. I still have 26 weeks left of my pregnancy, I really hope I can only gain no more than 17 pounds, but at this rate of my eating habits, I'm not going to bank on it. Sigh, oh well I guess I shouldn't be that concerned about what pregnancy is doing to my body, because after-all, the end result will make it worth it all, but at the same time I don't want to be still wearing maternity clothes 6 months later after having a baby. . .

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