Thursday, February 28, 2013

Future Letters to my son: Separation Anixiety

Dear Grant,

This letter I write to you today, is more of a letter I am writing for myself. Right now you have been going through this ridiculous stage of separation anxiety. I mean you've always been very fond of me and always want your mommy. But it's getting to the point that if I walked away, you start crying. If I'm doing working on my computer. You start crying. If I get ready for work and put my makeup, you start crying. You want to be attached to my hip 24-7. It has elevated in the last month. And it is driving me INSANE. I just keep reminding myself it is just a phase. Which it is. You will go through many phases in your life. You'll read this one day, and say "Eww, why was I attached to my mom so much?" But you're a baby right now. So it is understandable as to why you are extremely attached to me. If you are 30 years old, and still living with me, and attached to me, then I would be very worried.

This is just a really hard phase for me, and you too. It's dramatic not to be with your mother, especially when you were growing in her womb for 9 months.I know this too shall pass. And this won't be the only phase I'll go through with you. Eventually you'll become fiercely independent, and I'll be extremely sad that you are no longer attach to me. I'm sure when you're a teenager, you'll get in the stage where you won't even want to associate with me. And it will probably break my heart. But it will just be a phase just like this phase of you crying everytime I put you down. It's part of growing up. And for me it's part of being a mother. Watching and dealing with you growing up. Regardless of when you're too clingy, or too distant, remember I'll always love you.


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Parenting Picture of the Week

I thought I would add a fun new header to my weekly Picture of the week. This picture of the week is a picture of Grant doing his new favorite thing. That is put his hand over his ears as if he wants to say "I'm not hearing you!" I'm not sure why he started doing it, but he does it a lot when he is eating. I don't know if it is because his ears are bothering him or what. (but we did go to the doctor this week, and he has a sinus infection, and his ears were fine) Maybe he just discovered that he can do something new with his ears. But for whatever reason he decided to do it, it makes me laugh. And he has changed again this week. It's funny one day when I came home from work, its like he changed during the day, I noticed he looked differently. More like a little toddler and less like a baby. This picture of the week reminds me of me when I was little. Quite a bit actually. I wish I had some more pictures of me when I was littler to show you how much Grant resembles me, but I can post a few to show of me when I was a little older than him.

Grant is such a silly little boy, and is growing up so quickly!

I can't hear you and don't want to hear you!

For an added bonus, some pictures of me when I was little. I wish I had a couple other pictures on hand.

I also liked putting my hands on my ears. Such a diva.

A little older in this picture, but such a ham, and definitely see the resemblance!

Daddy also liked to put his hands on his ears, because he was a little stinker.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Celebrating 4 years of Marriage

On Thursday, Matt and I celebrated our 4 year Wedding Anniversary. I can't believe it's already been 4 years. I remember our wedding day vividly. It was an odd weather day where it snowed, rained, and sleeted. I had my bridezilla moments in the planning process, and even that day. But was a marvelous day and went by extremely fast. I seriously where the time has gone. Now we our parents with a one year old boy. Funny thing was Grant's due date was actually on our third year anniversary. We ended up having Grant a week and a half early. But we got to celebrate our third anniversary with a newborn baby. Which was a pretty awesome present.

Celebrating anniversaries with a baby is tough. Last year since Grant was a newborn and only a week and a half old, we didn't want to go out to a restaurant. So Matt got carry out from Ruby Tuesdays. That was the extent of our romance and celebrating 3 years of marriage. This year, we had a slight upgrade. Since Grant wasn't feeling good, we didn't want to leave him with someone to watch him. So we decided to celebrate our four years of marriage by going to Frischs (a good ole family establishment.) with Grant. It was actually great, Grant attempted to eat the crayons that they gave him while Matt and I enjoyed our company. While it wasn't very classy, I appreciated that as a marriage couple with a baby, that is the best way to celebrate 4 years of marriage. Maybe in the next couple of years, we'll have a more exciting anniversary celebration.

 It's tough making sure to find time for each other with a baby, but we make time. That's the most important thing in marriage, is making time. Becoming parents has made our marriage stronger. I love seeing Matt as a father, and how wonderful he is with Grant. It makes me love Matt even more. 

I look forward to many more years with Matt, and watching our family grow. It's been a wonderful four years so far.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Future Letters to my Son

So I've decided to do a fun weekly feature on my blog on Thursdays. It will be called "Future Letters to My Son" Everyday, On my way to work before dropping Grant off, I'll talk to him as if he is twenty, giving him the harsh realities of the world.  Offering him great advice that he should follow when he  is an adult. I'll tell him how he should treat a lady when he is in a relationship. I'll tell him how to survive the work world. I'll tell him that there will be times in life when you'll feel lost and unsure what to do. I tell him the heavy stuff. I know Grant is just a baby, and obviously has no idea what I am talking about. But it is refreshing to know what kind of advice I would like to give Grant when he is old enough to understand it. I'm prepping myself 15 years in the making, so I'll sound like a wise owl when I offer him my life advice. I thought it would be fun to do a weekly entry of letters I would like Grant to read in the future. Letters to him, offering my advice about all kinds of things-life, love, education, and everything in between.

So here is the first letter for Grant (With my fun header I created, with a picture that I took like 8 years ago.)

 Dear Grant,

     When you graduate from high school, you don't have to have your entire life figured out. You don't have to instantly decide what you want to do when you grow up. Because really it takes more growing up to figure out what you want to do with your life. You have time. Don't feel pressure that you have to go to college or that you have to have a what you want to study in figured out. I rather you wait for awhile to go to college to make the right decision of what you want to do, instead of jumping into in because you feel pressured to. (Or feel like that is what you have to do because it is the norm).

I will say I am nearly 29 years old, and I'm still unsure what I want to do with my life. (Career-wise at least) I went to college, since it seemed like I would not have any other opportunities. Going to college is the way to get ahead. It's the way to survive. It's a way to get a decent job. You see, when my parents where younger, the opportunity of college wasn't there. I mean it was there, but it wasn't always an option. If you had the money and resources, you go to college. You could get by and get a decent job without going to college. But in my generation, its pretty much graduate from high school and automatically go to college. That is the next step without thinking about it. So of course that is what I did was go to college after high school. I was unsure what I wanted to be. It's hard to expect a 18 year old to instantly decide what they want to do for the rest of their life, and really be sure that its the best decision. When I went to admissions to plan my classes, the adviser asked me what I wanted to major in. Depending on what I wanted to major in, I would need to start taking some of the classes related to my field right away. So I felt like it that moment was my life altering decision. A decision that I felt confident at the time, but not really understanding the levity of it. I was toying around with the idea of majoring in photography. (Which I'm glad I did not major in that) but was on fence with majoring in Early Childhood Education, because I enjoyed working with kids. I decided to major in Early Childhood Education. I worked really hard to pay for college on my own, I went through the program with flying colors and I graduated with a degree in Early Childhood Education. I felt on top of the world and ready to use my new degree and make a difference in the world.

But the problem is life happened and reality set in. You see, learning something in books, studying it, and talking about it for four years, is nearly not the same as actually experiencing it. I looked for jobs, and had little success. With my degree and field, (since I'm licensed to only teach K-3) it is actually really hard to find something. I ended up subbing for a year, and it really jaded my outlook on wanting to be a teacher.  I wasn't happy with the experience. I found myself questioning my skills, and questioning if that is what I really want to do with my life. Needless to say I've graduated from college for almost 6 years now, and I am not in a job related to my degree. Having my degree got my job, but I really could have had any degree to get it. Now I wonder if I ever do decide to get another job, how I really don't want to go into teaching which means I'm pretty not qualified to do anything else. This is why I regret not having the opportunity to really realize what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I wish I had a business degree and had a marketing job. The job I have now made me realize what I am good at and what I could do in the future. Problem is I don't have the educational background to get me to my career path. And continuing my education to get another degree or masters, I feel would be a waste of money and resources.

I can't tell you how many friends I have where I am starting to see this vicious cycle. They go to college, hopeful with the degree they have. Spending thousands upon thousands to get that education. Taking out loans and piling up the debt. But when they get in the workforce world they realize either their degree was a pipe dream, and it's impossible to find a job in that field, or it is not what they want to do. Then they find themselves spending more money to get a masters in a field they decided they would really be happy in. And then it's catch 22, you can't find a job in your field because you don't have the experience even though you have the degree. But if you have the experience but not the degree, you still can't get the job.

Being adult is frustrating.  It's hard to figure out what you want to do with your life until you start experiencing it. I sometimes wish that they redesign the college program. Have students do field work the first year in different things they are interested in (instead of waiting the fourth year after they spent all their time and money going through the program) and then make the decision based on that, what they want to pursue their career in. Maybe by the time you are old enough to go to college, things will be different. Maybe college will be cheaper. Maybe college will be designed differently to have more versatile degrees that can cover a huge variety of job professions. Who knows. But bottom line, I just want you to go with your gut and make the best decision. If you want to work straight after graduating from high school, I'll support it. If you don't even want to go to college, because you feel like it may not be for you, I'll support it. College is not a one size fit all. Sometimes I feel like we live in a society where it is perceived that college is a one size fit all, and everyone MUST go to college to get ahead in the workforce. Truth is, I've seen some extremely successful people get ahead without even a college degree. Follow your heart. Do what you think will really make you happy. And even if it doesn't. You may waste some money and time to find out what you really want to do. And if that's the case, then it's a learning experience. Sometimes you have to go off a few unbeaten paths to get to your final destination. Just don't feel like you have to settle with something you may not be happy with. Do what makes you happy.


Monday, February 18, 2013

My one year old buddy!

I have already posted about Grant's birthday. But I have not had a chance to talk about in general about Grant being a year old! I can't believe he is a year old. The more I look at him the more he looks less like a baby and more like a little toddler. As you can see Grant has grown quite a bit in the last 12 months! Mr. Kangaroo started out the same size as Grant. But now Grant is four times bigger then Mr. Kangaroo!

So here are some stats on Grant:

When he was born he was: 5 pounds and 13 oz. and 20 1/4 inches
Now: 19 pounds and 13 oz. 29 3/4 inches.

Grant is still a little peanut for his weight. When he was first born, he was like 5 percentile for his weight. And then he caught up and was in the 40 percentile. Now his weight gain has slowed down, and he is back in the 10 percentile for his weight. But in the 50 percentile for his height. The doctor wasn't too concern. But considering Grant has grown quite a bit considering how small he was when he was first born!

Look how itty bitty Grant was when he was a 1 week old!

On another great not I have been Breastfeeding for a whole year! Yay! I'm so happy to have made it for a year, and would like to continue until Grant self weans.

Here are some things that Grant can do::
  •  Take 3-4 steps on his own unassisted
  • Cruise around walls, objects, and anything he can put his hands on.
  • Stand up unassisted without holding anything for a couple of minutes.
  • Push a walked around, and walk with it around the house.
  • Attempts to do a somersault (I think he is trying to figure out how to stand up on his own, but he gets in a somersault stance) and it's the silliest thing to watch
  • Likes to take his shoes, socks, and pants off all the time.
  •  Has a new fascination with wanting to drop items in the toilet. This morning Grant dropped a bottle of my eye makeup removal in there. 
  • Says "dadda","yeah", "good", and apparently "mama" but everyone else keeps hearing him say it, but I always miss it :(
  • Love to get into cabinets, and take everything out of it. His favorite cabinet to get into is the one with my breast pump parts, bottles, and other plastic containers.
  •  Sleep is getting better, has been going to be around 8:00! And if I get lucky sometimes 7:30. But still likes to wake up at 6:00 am. Regardless of what time he goes to bed :(
  • Knows how to use a computer mouse already and knows that the arrow on the screen moves if he moves the mouse.
  • Know how to point the tv remote at the tv.
  • Likes to bark at the neighbor's dog.
  • Favorite thing to get into is the baskets of diapers, books, and bibs that are in his changing table shelves. 
  • Favorite shows are Mickey's Clubhouse, Sesame Street, and YaGabba. (That show is so strange)
  • His favorite bedtime pal is "My Pal Scout". (Such a great toy to put Grant to sleep every night)
  •  Grant has 6 teeth currently! 4 on top and 2 on the bottom.
  • Grant likes to squeal very loudly when he is really excited.
  • Grant loves to eat, his favorite foods are bananas, chilli, roast beef, peas, corn, and crackers.
  • He is very playful and loves to play with other kids his age.

Such a big boy!

 The things Grant can do amazes me, and makes me laugh. He is such a funny little boy! He loves to explore and get into things. Who knows what year 1 to 2 will bring!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Picture of the Week

So this week, I've had a pretty clingy little guy, attached to my hip. It's been pretty bad to the point that he is starting to make me lose my sanity. I think some of it is attributed to him not feeling good this week. But Grant has been going through some SERIOUS separation anxiety this week. If I am not holding Grant he cries. If I give him to Matt he cries. On Thursday I had to work from home since I had Grant. Grant was driving me nuts that day. The only way to actually get work done, was to let him destroy him room. He loves pulling all the stuff out of the shelves on his changing table. So in the name of trying to get work done, I let him make a huge mess, since he was really content. And the funny part was when he started blowing his nose on his good diapers. I've been wiping his nose off so much this week, since it has been non-stop running. Since I've been doing it so much, Grant has fingered out what it means to blow his nose and wipe it off. All I could do at that point was laugh at Grant blowing his nose on his diapers. He's such a silly little boy. That can have so much fun, with the simple things in life. :)

I never cause any trouble. Never...

Friday, February 15, 2013

The things I thought I would have never say until I became a mother

It's funny how motherhood has changed my everyday conversation. It's no longer things like "How was your day at work today?" or "Let's make plans to go out this weekend." Instead it's things like talking about my child's bowel movements. "Did Grant poop today?" "What was the consistency of his poop?" "What color was it?" Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would be talking about poop at the dinner table. And never could I imagine that talking about a child's bowel movements on a regular basis, is a normal thing. But a gross as the imagery and description of my child's crap, I have to know these things for his well being and health. Some days I find myself talking about Grant so much to Matt and to everyone else, that I have to stop to remember what normal non-baby related conversations entail.

It's amazing now of the things I that come out of my mouth now as a parent. Sometimes I have to stop myself, and question, "Did that seriously come out of my mouth?" So for entertainment value, here are things I've said to Grant, that I never thought I would find myself saying: (And are all true things, I've said, and can't even make up.)

 "Don't eat the cat food Grant, that's ick."

"What do you have in your hand? Oh no, is that Cat poop, yucky, get that out of your hand."

"We look with our eyes not with our hands."

"Why are you playing with one of my breast pump parts?"

"Oh no! You just took off all the toilet paper off the roll"

"Grant don't eat the webcam. Grandma doesn't want to see the inside of your mouth"

"Don't bite mommy's belly or shoulder, that hurts."

"Ouch! Grant, why did you bite my back fat?"

"You're a silly boy blowing your nose on your diapers!"

"No bites, that hurts mommy."

Here comes trouble!

I'm sure in the next year, I can double this list. Grant is so much fun, and makes me laugh everyday. I love the little personality that is coming out of him. He is constantly getting into things and doing things he shouldn't He definitely keeps me on my toes!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Birthday Grant!

Grant turned one this past Saturday! I can't believe my little guy is one years old! I was very excited to plan my first birthday party. Me being a party planner (ok not a really party planner, but I love decorating for events, parties, etc) I absolutely had so much fun planning his party. His party went very well. The only thing that didn't turn out very well was his cake. I ventured out with fondant, and I will say that stuff really frustrated me. I finally got it the way that I wanted and then went I woke up the next morning, the fondant bled, and started sliding off the cake. I will say next time I'll stick to regular butter-cream. Other than that, the party went well. Grant started not feeling very good towards the end of the party, and ended up have a high fever the next day. Despite that, Grant had so much fun. He was such a good sport! Here are some of the pictures of Grant's big day.

The invite I made from Shutterfly, Matt took the picture of Grant.

One of my Pinterest inspired ideas.

It's a Party!

The One in the middle is a napkin holder with tissue paper and the other two ones are candles covered with scrapbook paper. Not pinterest inspired just on of my good ideas.

My sad cake, yes it should be on cake disasters.

The wall of Growing Grant month by month. Grant has grown so much in a year!


The banner I made. I found printouts on and made a cute banner with ribbon and scrapbook paper.

Happy Birthday Grant! Another Pinterest inspired chalkboard that I made.

Not sure about the cake.

Grant started getting tired of eating the cake.

One of Grant's birthday present's he got from Mommy and daddy.

Grant's cousin helping him open his present.

Grant's really cool Grant chair that Grandpa S. made for him.

I can't believe I've been a mommy for a year! How times flies. Grant is such a great baby! And I'm excited to see him grow as a little toddler. :) Happy Birthday Grant!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

One Hot Momma

So today was a glorious day. Since having Grant, I still have some dresses that don't fit me. Even though it's been a year now since I've had Grant, it's been literally impossible to squeeze my big boobs, and belly into my dresses. I have a small pile of dresses that have been tucked away in my closet collecting dust. These are the dresses that I can't even get over my head. These are the dresses that I occasionally try on and cry because they don't fit me anymore. These are the dresses that I REFUSE to give away, because I have hope that one day I get to wear them again.

The other day my co-worker asked me if I lost weight, and that my legs looked so skinny. It made me feel great, and as I started looking at myself, I realized my bright green pants do look baggy than they did a month ago. Considering they were tight fitting when I bought them, but now I slide them off without even taking the button off. (Yes, that is my lazy pant removal habit and it gives me a higher self-esteem that I have pants that fit loose enough that I can just pull them down without unzipping them) So today when getting ready for work, I decided to be adventurous, and pulled one of my cute dresses that has been collecting dust. I thought hell, why not, if my pants are looser, maybe I can wear my one of my dresses again. I put my dress on, and instead on instantly throwing it back on the hanger, I actually decided to wear it to work today. A year and half later I can finally wear one of my form fitting dresses again! And it was wonderful. I felt like I had curves, I felt great, I felt like one hot confident momma.

Maybe yoga if finally paying off. I've been doing yoga, for two months now. And I even though I'm not losing weight, I will definitely say my stomach is shrink and my flabby love handles are shrinking as well. And I can start doing things I've never imagine that I could do. I can lift myself off the ground and climb on the walls like spiderman. And do these weird bendy things. I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to do the splits!

It's days like these where I feel better about myself. I know it just was a dress, but boy did it make me feel like a million dollars!

Look at me professional hot stuff!

The dress and I, 4 years ago. While my weight has shifted some and my face is fuller, I can still rock it out.

On a different note, you'll be seeing more of my blogging. I gave up Facebook for lent, so now I have WAY more time to blog. I still need to post Grant's birthday fun which I'll do tomorrow!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Belated Parenting Picture of the Week

Yesterday I had a very sick baby on my hands. It was the worse sickness Grant has had so far in his little life. Seeing him that way yesterday was absolutely heartbreaking, especially because there wasn't much I could do to make him feel better. I am glad Grant got sick after his birthday, and he got to enjoy his special day (which I post a blog entry about later). So that is why I didn't get to post my parenting picture of the week yesterday, because I was tending to a sick baby.

But here is the belated picture of the week:

There will be more birthday joy in another blog entry, I'll post later, but this is my favorite picture of Grant that was taken on his birthday. Dispite all the toys he got, he was still more fasinated with his birthday hat and the wrapping paper. Grant had so much fun on his birthday. I can't believe it's been a year since he was born. Boy how time flies!

And for a bonus Picture of week from a year ago (and please ignore my hideous swollen face)

 How time has flown! I can't believe I've been a parent for a year now. I feel like such a pro at it! (But have so much to learn)

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Parenting Picture of the Week

This week is all about Grant being a helper. Grant has helped me empty out my cabinets, the dishes from the dishwasher, removing items from my purse. But today, Grant really was a helper as he intently watched his Daddy put together a shelf for our basement. It was the cutest thing to watch. I can't wait when Grant gets a little bit older, and he can help Matt in his workshop. I know Grant would have so much fun!