Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The mommy competion with myself

For those who know me. I'm EXTREMELY competitive. I see everything as a competion, at work, at home, and in every aspect of my life. You can ask my co-workers, I'm ridiculous. I've attacked someone and knocked them out of their chair playing a game of Spoons. (At work during our lunch break) One time we had an event for work, and it was tradition to wear pigtails. Instead of wearing pigtails and just doing our jobs at the event like normal people. I made it into a competion of who would have the most PIGGIEST pig tails. Yes I'm that ridiculous that I made up an adjective just to turn something into a competition. I of course declared myself the winner of having the most piggiest pig tails. But really who cares? For some stupid reason I care. Also with my job it's all about hitting goals and benchmarks. I'm extremely competitive, and go crazy with my other co-workers and rub it in their face when I'm doing better then them. My one co-worker no longer works there, and I still like to rub it in her face that I'm doing better then her. She told me "Megan I don't work there anymore, how can I even try to beat you?". Not only at work am I ridiculous, but I love play scrabble with my mother. And boy are we competitive. When she plays 100 point turns, I scream curse words at my computer. I get really passionate in the things I do and make everything a competition. So it's only natural that I make parenting into a competition. Which is terrible and I shouldn't. But it's in my competition blood.

Now that Grant is getting bigger, he is starting to hit milestones. And as I surround myself with my friends, co-workers, and the internet community of other mothers, I am constantly finding myself comparing Grant to other people's children. Which I should not do. I know it is TERRIBLE. But again my competitive nature is a disease. So when someone tells be so and so is sitting up or rolling, I don't instantly think "Ah that is great, he is growing so fast!". I think "Oh my gosh Grant is a month older than that baby, and STILL not rolling." Now I know babies move at there own pace developmentally. And have a window for hitting these milestones. So just because Grant isn't doing something yet doesn't mean he isn't. He'll get there when he does, but when I hear of other people telling me there baby is doing something, I want to be that obnoxious person that says, well my baby is doing handstands.

I know I really need to tone done the competitive thing. Everything is not a competition. But to put things in perspective, I was like this even at the age of 12-13 years old. My youngest brother  Derrick, is 8 years younger then me, so I found myself taking the mother role with him. I know that 8 years old isn't that big of an age difference. But again me being me, I felt it in my nature to be motherly towards him. So when Derrick was about 3-4 years old, I remember bragging to other people that he could count to 10. Someone was talking about their kid, and I said "Oh well Derrick is doing really good with counting, he can actually count to 10." Looking back at this I laugh for several reasons. One being, what 12 year old talks or thinks like this? Bragging about what their SIBLING not even child could do that others cannot. Second, why was I making into a braggingfest? Really who cares if Derrick can count 4 more numbers than so and so? He's 20 years old know, and now it doesn't really make a difference that he knew how to count 4 more numbers than another child at the age of 3. So why did I even care? Again I had to make it into a competition.

So really I shouldn't let it get to me and I try my hardest not, because little Grant really is doing wonderfully! He loves to grab everything. Apparently tonight he thought he could drink out of a glass like everyone else. He kept throwing a fit when I wouldn't give him my glass of water to drink out of. He just started becoming a rolling machine. He giggles non-stop. He knows his name now. And he likes to say "Hi". I'm not sure if it is intentional at this point or if he is just repeating us. But it always seems like he says "Hi" in the right context. So really I can't complain. And in all honesty, I'm making the competition with myself. It's not even like it is with anyone. I just think everything in like must be a competition. Which guess what Megan it is not. Sigh. One day I'll figure that out. I just HOPE and pray that Grant doesn't inherit my competitive nature. People joke with me that I will be extremely competitive with my children, and I won't let them win in games. Which that part is true, I'm not going to let Grant win in games. What is the fun in that? He needs to learn how to lose and win some. Hopefully I'll tone down the competitiveness when Grant get's older. Let's hope at least.. .

One day I'll beat mommy in the game of blocks.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Happy Birthday Blog!

So today marks it being one year since I started this blog!

 First Blog Entry one year ago from today

That is when I made it public to the world that I was expecting. I ended up making it Facebook official when I was 10 weeks. It was hard to contain myself. I am terrible at keeping secrets. I think most of my family, friends, and co-workers knew by 8 weeks of my pregnancy. I originally started this blog to share my tales, joys and mishaps of pregnancy. I can't believe it's already been a year and now I have an almost 6 month old baby! Thanks for all those who read my blog. And I love posting blog entries when I can. :)

Happy Birthday Blog!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

4 month sleep PROGRESSION

I keep seeing in general and in the blogging/internet world of moms who have little ones who are in the 4 month sleep regression phase. And are frustrated with their little one not going to sleep. I laugh at this not because they are going through not fun phase of no sleep but rather that with my child I've had the opposite problem. Like I've said in previous blog posts, Grant hates sleeps. He slept wonderfully like all infant do, and then he hit three weeks, where he became generally fussy during the night, and starting to sleep less and less. As the weeks progressed, Grant's bedtimes were at 1:00 am, and taking small naps through the day. He would wake up at 2:00, 5:00, and 7:00 am in the morning. Finally when I went back to work we got him to go to bed now at 10:00-10:30. (Anything sooner than that is IMPOSSIBLE). One time I was lucky to get him in bed by 8:30. BAD MISTAKE! He ended up waking up at 11:00 and didn't go back to sleep until 1:00. It's like I threw off the world with putting him to bed sooner.

So instead of the 4 month sleep regression phase, Grant had a 4 month sleep progression phase. In the last month it's like sleep has finally clicked for him. Well not 100 percent but I'll take what I can get. All the sudden he started sleeping through the night. Finally! He would sleep from 10:30 to 5 or if I get really lucky, 10:30 to 7:00! Yesterday was the best record yet of sleeping from 10:30 to 8:00 am! It's been wonderful, considering I need sleep. Occasionally Grant throws off this schedule by waking up at 2:00 am. But I won't complain. It's nice to get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep on occasion! 

But sometimes getting him to sleep is a big fight. It has especially been rough the last couple of nights, because of teething and him just being generally overtired. On Sunday night he was inconsolable and kept waking up. I was desperate, I tried everything. I even did the old fashion driving around the block. He fell asleep, and I carefully took him out of the car-seat, and put him in bed. 15 minutes later started bawling his head off.

One thing I've learned with Grant's sleeping woes is patience. Some nights where I'm just so frustrated and spent on trying to get him to sleep, I repeat the Serenity Prayer to myself:
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

OK maybe that isn't exactly the right thing to be saying in the situation of an inconsolable baby, (because maybe I can change the situation of a crabby crying baby) but it does give me serenity and patience when saying it.  That's one thing I've learned with Grant's sleeping woes, if patience and learning how to function with low amounts of sleep. Because as one of my favorite catch phrases to say, This to shall pass. And it is slowly passing. Grant's sleeping is getting better. But he still hates naps, and of course he doesn't sleep for me all weekend, and ends up sleeping for Aunt Amy all day today. That is my luck. I've should have know I would have a child that hates sleep. There is just way to much to see and explore. Who needs sleep after-all?

So for all those mamma going through the sleep regression stage, remember this too shall pass. It will get better. :)

Such a silly sleeper

Friday, July 20, 2012

Nine things every expecting mother needs to know

1) Don't buy too many clothes before the baby is born

 For 2 reasons. First, is you may buy all these clothes, and think they are cute and adorable, but once you actually see the baby, realize that the clothes don't fit their personality, skin tone, and overall look. You might think I'm silly for saying that. It's a baby, who cares what he or she wears? But if you are like me, who enjoys dressing their baby you will care what they wear. I got some outfits for Grant. Luckily not to many, but now that Grant is finally big enough to wear them, and I put them on him, I ask myself, what the hell was I thinking? They totally don't go with Grant's style nor are they his colors. You might think I'm ridiculous for being that way. But Grant looks great in bright green and blue. Lighter colors like tan and light blue not so much. And he has a preppy style, some cloths just don't look right on him. So do yourself a favor a wait until your baby is born before buying tons of clothes. What you may buy may not be the right look for your baby. Trust me. Also don't buy too many clothes mainly because babies grow extremely fast. Grant had tons of winter clothes that he got as presents, and ended up not wearing half of them, because the time they fit him, it was summer. Now he is growing like a weed, and only fitted in his 3-6 month clothes for like a month. Now he is in 6 month clothes. So another reason not to by too many clothes, you won't know how big they will be by a season, babies grow at different rates. Grant was only 5 pounds, but never did I think he would catch up so quickly and be in 6 month clothes already.

This outfit makes me angry. Why did mommy get me such an ugly outfit with a hood on it?

2) Don't freak out if the nursery isn't done before the baby comes. It will be ok.

This is every expecting mother's freakout is when the nursery isn't done. It's sheer panic when you are not prepared for the baby. I will say we didn't have the nursery done before Grant was born. Actually we didn't have it done until like 2 months after he was born. Did I panic? Yes. But did the world implode that my nursery wasn't done? No. Everything ended up being fine. As long as you have the esstenitals, like a pack n play, diapers, clothes, etc. It's ok if the baby's room isn't finished yet. The baby sleeps in your room the first couple of months anyways, so if you don't have the baby's room painted or arranged the way you want, don't stress! The baby doesn't care what his or her room looks like. They just want to be taken care of and loved by their mommy and daddy. :)

3) Don't get sucked into getting all these state of an art baby products. What works for one baby might not work for another. Wait until the baby is born and let them decide what you need.

When I put stuff on my baby registry I thought I had to have all these state of the art baby products. Mainly because I listen to other people and what they told me what worked for their kid. So I thought I needed it. I thought I needed tons of pacifiers, I thought I needed a swaddle sleep sack, I thought I needed pacifier clips, and the list could go on. Well  Grant doesn't like to be swaddled and he hates pacifiers. I have lots of baby cream, but Grant breaks out with the Johnson and Johnson baby cream. I have a lot of baby stuff I thought I needed, but Grant doesn't like it. So get the basics like clothes, baby towels, bottles, fingernail clippers. But don't go too crazy on things like soothers, mobiles, etc. Wait until your baby is born, see what they like, and then buy the baby items for them. Trust me, every baby is different, and not every baby product works on every baby.

4) Just because you breastfeed doesn't mean you'll instantly lose all the weight.

I thought with breastfeeding I would instantly shed the pounds. Well I did shed some pounds the first couple months. Now it has stopped. I'm stuck on this same weight, and can't lose any more weight to save my life. I still need to lose another 15 pounds, and the pounds aren't shedding off. I thought if I'm breastfeeding, the pounds would come right off. Not so much with me. I've heard some women who breastfeed end up not losing weight until after they stop breastfeeding. Maybe that is the case for me. I at least like to hope and wish that it is the case. It's probably not, but don't assume you'll lose weight very quickly. It takes time!

5) Be open to the idea that your birth may not go the way you want.

 You can have a birth plan and the perfect idea of how you want your birth experience to go. If you get lucky it may go the way you want. But most likely it will not. Open your mind to all the possibilities. You may have to have a c-section. You may not get to breastfeed your baby right away. You not get to hold the baby right away. You may cave in and get an epidural. Come into your birth experience with an open mind, you can't guarantee that the perfect experience will happen. Remember as long as the baby is healthy that is all that matter. And even if things don't go your way, the end result is completely worth it.

6) Get all the sleep you can now before the baby comes, because you won't get a straight eight hour of interrupted sleep in a LONG time. Unless you get lucky, and have a baby that actually sleeps through the night early on in his or her life.

 Grant is 5 months old and will sleep from 10:30 to usually 5:00 in the morning. I usually go to bed around 11:30 to midnight. Maybe if I wasn't such a night owl, and went to bed at a decent time I would go to be at 10:30. But once Grant goes to bed I actually have time to myself. So I take advantage of it.  I miss having straight eight hours of sleep. You may get lucky and have a child that sleeps 12 hours straight. But if you have a child like mine that hates sleep, that won't happen. Though I'm learning to run on low hours of sleep. I never realize how much I would miss my sleep until I had a baby.

7) Take a lot of pictures at the hospital.

The whole birth experience goes by so fast, and you'll regret if you don't have very many pictures. I will say for myself because so much went on with Grant, and I didn't get to hold him until 20 hours later; I barely took pictures of him. I regret not having very many pictures to look back on. It goes by so fast that before you know it your baby will be a year old.

8) Your body may not ever look the same after having a baby

Unless you're one of the lucky ones who look like you never had a baby. It's amazing how deform my body looks after having a baby. I have stretch marks everywhere, a deflated belly, new flab on my hips and everywhere else. While everything is shrinking, and I'm losing weight, I'm bigger in different places, it's like my weight has shifted in other places. It's funny because the other day someone at work commented on how they liked all the new dresses I was wearing. None of the dresses I have been wearing were new. And I never got comments before I was pregnant and had Grant. So I'm not sure if my new post pregnancy body has made my dresses look better on me, or all my weight has shifted that my dresses just look different in a bad way.

9) Sleep when the baby sleep, is not practical advice. It doesn't happen that way.

People told me this advice, and I wanted to follow this, but the thing is the time I would get Grant to sleep was the time I could finally get dress, clean the house, etc. I use Grant's time to sleep, as time to get stuff done and have me time. It's hard to go to sleep knowing there is so much that needs to be done. Now when it's time to go to sleep, I'll sleep when the baby sleeps. But when the baby is sleep during the day, I don't have time to take a nap.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Things in us that I see in him

One thing that marvels me about life and having a baby, is it's literally the best surprise you'll ever get. You have no idea what he or she will look like or how they will act, until they are born. You can only imagine what they will look like until they enter this world. When Grant was born, I was blown away that I helped create such a beautiful and remarkable drop of life. As Grant gets older, I'm awestruck by his adorable smiles, giggles, sparkling blue eyes, and just cute face.

Today when I was getting my haircut, I had to take Grant with me. Luckily the other ladies who worked there gracelessly offered to hold Grant while I got my haircut. Grant was so good, and loved all the attention he was getting from random strangers. One of the girls who was holding Grant asked me if this was my first kid, and then told me I needed to make more babies, because Grant is so adorable and handsome, that I need to continue making cute babies. This made me chuckle. In a sense it makes me feel proud and boastful that my great genetics and Matt's genetics combined made such an beautiful and adorable baby.

Each day I see aspects of myself and Matt in Grant. I can't wait when Grant gets older, and I can start seeing his personality come out more. So here are things so far that I see in Grant that has came from either Matt or myself:

1) Grant has my eyes, and Matt's light blue color. I absolutely love his eyes, they are so expressive.

 2) Grant gives serious looks all the time like his daddy. And has many "Matt" like expressions. I mean look at them, they are like a pea and pod.


 3) Grant has his Daddy's red hair. I was always hoping our son would have red hair. Matt didn't think it was possible, because it skipped a generation in his family. But when I saw a tint of red in Grant's hair when he was born, I smiled. His hair is really starting to look red, especially in the sun!

4) Grant loves to be awake, and hates sleep, and is a night owl, like his mommy and daddy. I should have know that we would have a kid that doesn't like to sleep, and won't go to bed any sooner then 10 pm. Grant rarely takes long naps during the day, for he is afraid he'll miss something exciting. And it's a fight to put him to bed. Matt and I are both night owls. During the week, we usually don't go to bed until midnight. When I wasn't working, I wouldn't go to bed until 2-3 o'clock in the morning. So I should have know that our child would be the same way. He has too much living to do. Who needs to sleep?

5) He's a generally happy baby and well nature like his mommy. Grant is such a good baby. He loves to smile and is usually happy all the time. I love his baby smiles and giggles.

6) He looks good in green and brown like his daddy. Those are his colors.

7) He's a social butterfly like his mommy. He likes to say "Hi" and talk to people a lot. Usually the hi, is just repeating when we say hi, but it's so cute, it's like he is greeting us. He love to talk in his own little baby language. He loves to look around, and he loves being held by people. If someone is holding him, he is happy.

8) He loves being outside. Not sure where he got that fun, considering Matt and I do not like the outdoors. But he could be outside all day and be the happiest baby. When he starts crying, I take him outside, and he instantly calms down. He loves riding in his stroller, and looking around. The outdoors is Grant's zen.

9) He is high maintenance like his mommy.  Grant is a prince. He doesn't like being swaddled, or having pacifiers, he is a formula snob, and will not drink formula even if he is hungry. He likes to be held all the time. Someone must be paying attention to him all the time. Maybe he is just how most babies are, but he definitely likes things a certain way. He's a particular guy already!

Grant is so cute, and I love little quirks and features that Grant has so far. I can't wait to see him when he is about 2 years old and he can start talking. I know he'll be simply adorable.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Things that have changed me since being a parent

I've talked about this in another blog entry, or at least I think I did. But becoming a parent instantly changes you as a person and your life. It's so strange. My whole conversations have changed, I do things I thought I never would do. Being a parent is amazing. So here are things that have changed me so far since having Grant:

1) Most of my daily conversations now revolve around my child's bowel movements.

I  never thought I would constantly be talking about if my child poop today, and how discomforted he is that he hasn't pooped. I start freaking out if he hasn't pooped in a couple of days. As soon as I come home from work, the first thing that comes out of my mouth isn't "Hi honey how was your day?" but rather "Did Grant poop today?" It's amazing how having a baby can really change daily conversations.

2) I'm less rigid with my schedule and realize that everyday doesn't have to be planned out
I'm very type A when it comes to schedules. When I wake up, I have a list of stuff I would like to do, and when something deviates my plan, I freak out. I hate when unexpected things happen, to ruin my day of great plans. People who make last minute plans or changes with me, does not set well with me. Well know that I have a baby, I've realized being so ridiculous with schedules and plans is just silly. You have to go with the flow and be spontaneous. It's funny because today I had a list of stuff to do, I ended up not getting any of those things done, and instead I spent most of my day tending to a crabby whiny baby. And it actually didn't bother me, that I didn't get to my plans. I can leave the kitchen floor dirty for another day. My baby sets the schedule of me day, so I might as well let go being uptight about my daily schedule.

3)  I now hate when people who are not handicap or with small children use handicap bathroom stalls or fitting rooms.
 For times I ever used a handicap bathroom, before I had a small child or when I didn't have a broken leg, I'm sorry. I now understand the importance of not using the handicap stall! When a public restroom doesn't have a changing table, guess where it is? In the handicap stall! A few occasions now I've had to wait for the handicap stall, in order to change Grant's diaper. And when the person comes out, they do not have a small child or a wheelchair or anything hindering them from using a regular size stall. And the funny part is there are a dozen unoccupied stalls, but yet they picked the handicap stall. The stall I need to use to change my child's diaper. And this has been a problem with shopping places too! It hasn't failed that everytime I have gone into Kohls to try on clothes, someone is in the handicap stall! I have Grant in a stroller, because they do not have carts there that I can put his carseat in. And the strollers do not fit into a regulaur fitting room. So then I have to leave the stroller outside of the fittingroom, and get the carseat out, and put Grant in the room that way. And same thing, there are tons on regular size fitting rooms, unoccupied, but yet this woman is in the big fitting room, because appartently a regualr size room isn't big enough to try on clothes when it's just yourself in the room. Grr!! So I now understand the importance of the use of handicap stalls and rooms. End Rant for the day.

4) Coffee is my best friend.
I wake up like a zombie anymore, and pretty much won't function without coffee. I have caffeine of some kind multiple times in a day, just to stay awake.

5) Things I was never afraid of, now have turned me into a scary-cat. 
Now that I am responsible for another life, things I use to fearlessly do, are now petrifying to me. I'm so afraid my child getting hurt! A good example of this was what happened to me this passed Sunday. I was driving home from the pool, and Grant was in the car with me. We had a terrible storm, it was so windy I felt like I was driving in a hurricane. There we fallen tree limbs in the road. I was so scared a tree was going to fall on my car. Usually driving in storms don't scare me. They are annoying to drive because the visibility sucks! But I'm not scared by it. Well I was ridiculous in this car ride. I was shaking, crying, and praying Hail Marys (literally, I'm not even using the expression, I was in fact praying the Hail Mary while driving home) the entire car ride home. Grant was sleeping peacefully, but I was so scare I was going to crash, and something terrible was going to happen to us. If it was just me in the car I probably wouldn't have been so scare. But since I had Grant in the car I was just so afraid something was going to happen to him. When I came home Matt was laughing at me, because I was just so happy to safely home. Maybe I'm a scary-cat but it's for the good cause of caring for my child and genuinely being worried for his safety. 

6) I have a quicker reflex
With Grant constantly dropping his toys, I've developed the ability to catch things in mid-air right before the hit the ground. Usually I am terrible with catching things, this is why I don't play sports. I'm terribly uncoordinated, and clumsy. But I've been quicker with catching things. Grant really keeps me on my toes!

7) Wiping off drool, boogers,  spit up, and poop in unimaginable places, comes second nature.
 Spit usually grosses me out, and as well as boogers, and poop. But when a baby is a machine of producing gross things, I've become use to wiping and cleaning them off. I never in a million years think these things wouldn't bother me, or come to me as second nature, but here I am cleaning up poop explosions and walking around with drool all over my shirt.

8) I carry objects around now as if I'm carrying a baby.
Now that  I carry Grant all time, I have found myself now carrying objects as if I'm carrying Grant. A couple of weeks ago at work, I went into a meeting carrying cupcakes and everyone was laughing at me because I was carrying the cupcakes like I was carrying Grant in the car carrier. I never realized I did that until someone pointed it out, but I find myself carrying objects all the time now like they are a fragile baby.

9) I  truly value anytime I get to myself.
Now that I have a baby attached to my hip all the time, I really value the moments, I have some "me" time. Like right now, I finally have time to write my blog. I never realized I would value the time I have to blog or go on Facebook.

10) I've become the paparazzi to my own child.
I blind my child all the time with a camera flash. I take so many pictures of Grant. He is so adorable I just can't contain myself. Poor Grant, he gets bombarded by my camera flash multiple times during the day

11)I thought I was a very patient person until I had a baby.
 I am a very patient person. One of the reasons I like working with kids, because I have patience with working with them, even the most difficult ones. I.E. a kindergarten chasing another kid with scissors. But I didn't realize how much my own child would test my patience especially when he is Mr. Crabby pants, and can't stop crying and nothing will calm him down. The nice thing though is when my patience is running thin, I can pass him off to Matt :)

12) I feel 10 years wiser.
Only though I've been a mom for a total of five months, I feel like I know so much as a mother compared to what I knew last year. Being a mom is a learning experience, and I the more I learn the wiser I feel.