Friday, December 16, 2011

3rd Trimester Blues

I really can't complain too much of my first and second trimester of pregnancy. While the puking my guts out wasn't a pleasant part of my first trimester, I'm beginning to feel the pain and anguish of third trimester. This is making me hate the third trimester more than the other two. I know most pregnant women complain about how the third trimester is uncomfortable, and especially towards the end, but boy am I feeling it already and I still have about 9 and half weeks left give or take.

It doesn't help that I'm 7 and a half months pregnant during the holidays. I've decided next time I get pregnant, I don't want to be in the third trimester during the holidays. Not that I have control over this, but the chaos of the holiday season is just making me stressed out and adding extra pain to my entire body. Which is probably why I am so bitter about Christmas this year. I'm freaking out because there is so much to do and it doesn't help that we haven't remotely started the baby room yet. It also doesn't help that I seem to take on so much during the holiday season. Today at work was our holiday party. And I took on my normal duties of party planning and decorating. But my pregnant body reminded me today, that normal can't happen when pregnant, it's just too much. I stayed up last night till two o'clock in the morning working on a work of art that I do every year at work. Then this morning I was running around back and forth to the other side of the building at work decorating. Usually I enjoy doing this, and have fun. But the entire day I was just bitter because I wanted to just sit down and relax, but knew I couldn't because there was so much to do. And I know I need to know my boundaries and when to stop. But my problem is when you're a high energy level person like me, I don't know how to stop. I'm so use to always doing something and being busy, that not doing something s never in my mindset. And being a control freak that I am, I can't bring myself to stop, because I want to be part of the perfection. So by the end of the day, every step I took made me ache in pain. And I could feel every ache and pain. I just wanted to collapse. I did way to much. I guess my problem is I forget that I can't do the same amount of things that I did when I wasn't pregnant. The energy level and strength just isn't there.

I'm just getting bitter about being pregnant. I have sausage like fingers. My fake size 9 wedding ring is almost snug on me. This morning I went to put on some bangle bracelets, and I about cried because I couldn't even get my big hand through it. My feet look like malformed club feet, with sausage toes. The stretch marks are ridiculous. It looks like a bear clawed my belly. Sleeping is starting to become uncomfortable, and I know it's just going to get worse. I'll lay on my side, and the baby starts kicking, and then I flip over to the other side and he kicks me.

I know I sound like a bitter person that can't stop complaining, I know its just going to get worse. It will be worth it in the end. But boy do I know why women say they are so miserable in the third trimester. Wosh..

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