I don't if you ever heard or have seen the documentary "The Business of Being Born", but if you haven't I suggest watching it. The only disturbing part is they do show Ricki Lake give birth in the bath tub. Something I really want to see. Not. It's available of Netflix's instant play to watch it.Here's the link to the website, you can watch a trailer to see what it's about:
The Business of being born
Recently Ricki Lake, who helped produced "Business of Being Born" just released the documentary "More about the Business of Being Born". I'm interested to see it. The first one I watched about a year ago, pre-pregnancy, and it definitely opened my eyes to how the whole birth process in itself works, and how most hospitals really don't give women the true birthing experience. To a hospital it's all about getting women in and out of the hospital quickly as possible, and doing unnecessary interventions to them like inducing (which isn't always necessary) just to quickly get them in and out. It's quite disheartening to see women treated this way. Before the documentary, I would have never thought of hospitals as the bad guy. Though, I never realized how much the birth experience is hindered by hospitals. For example, in the documentary, that women laying down while birth is the worst way to give birth. The woman's hips aren't designed to give birth while laying down, that with gravity, they really should be standing up while giving birth. Gravity is going to help push the baby out.
I enjoyed the documentary quite a bit, and now that I'm actually pregnant, and going through the process, I can't help to think that I am too not getting the full experience, and feel sometimes that I am just going through a drive through leaving the doctor's office more confused then when I came in. I know I shouldn't have high expectations; but I like to feel like I should have a sense of what the hell is going on in the pregnancy process, rather than feeling like a piece of meat tossed around from appointment to another.
Today I had my doctor's appointment, and of course just like the other appointments I have had so far in the duration of my pregnancy, they are very short, and have same exact routine every time. I get weighed, and cry inside how much I've gained since last visit, then I pee in a cup, then they check my blood pressure, the nurse ask the same exact question every time, "Had any spotting, cramping, or anything other problems? Is the baby moving ok?" Then the doctor comes in ask me how everything is going, checks for the babies heartbeat and then measures my uterus. And that is the end of appointment. I guess I shouldn't get mad, or expect the earth to shake when going to my appointment, but I guess I would like a sense of feeling more like a human rather then a science experiment. Nothing against my doctor, she is perfectly fine, I guess I'm expecting to be more educated by the doctor in the entire process. And I know if I don't ask questions how is the doctor suppose to answer them? But the problem is when so many things are running through my head at once, like is the baby ok? How am I remember all the questions I have for the doctor? Like today, I peed in the cup expecting it would be fine. And I didn't even know why I peed in a cup until today. I knew they were checking for something, but I had no idea what. And the doctor tells me I have protein in my urine. Instead of me asking questions, like "What does that even mean to have protein in my urine?". My mind was running a million miles a minute thinking, this is terrible, what could have caused that? What am I going to do? And of course the doctor acts like this is no big deal. And maybe it isn't but then again shouldn't I be concerned?
This is what I've learned in the whole process, if everything is ok then there is no need to say anything else, you're just off on your merry way, scheduling the next month's appointment. Sadly the appointments last a total of 5 to 10 minutes, if that. It just makes me wonder why it is this way when going to the doctor. Because really it isn't only this way with prenatal appointments, but also with any doctor's appointment. If I'm sick, the doctor just asks me like three questions and then writes out an absurd amount of unnecessary prescriptions. Maybe I shouldn't say all doctors are like that, but it feels like any doctor I've came across is like that. Maybe it's just that way because they see quite a bit of patients in a day, and its no longer becomes a personal connection to get down to the root of the patient's problem. But rather just quickly getting them out of the doctor's office so they can see the next patient. It's very disheartening because I have no idea what to expect in the birthing process, and I would just like a reassurance that everything is ok.
I will say this process is making me consider a midwife next time. From what I've heard midwives are more caring and understanding about the process. And are advocates of what the women wants for her baby. I don't know we'll see. Though I will say I'm still really wanting to do a water birth. Unfortunately the hospital where I will be giving birth does not have these capabilities. So depending on how this birth goes, I may look into doing a water birth for the next baby, I just would have to go to a different hospital and find a different doctor.
Just another example of frustration about the doctor, I go to my appointment, thinking that I would be getting my glucose test done in the doctor's office, and the the nurse practitioner looks at my chart and says "Oh it looks like you should be getting your glucose test done soon." Yes lady you told me that this appointment would be the appointment I would be getting it done. Good thing I knew to ask the front desk the last appointment if I needed to fast or not before the test. So she gives me paper orders, and of course these orders we not ready, I had to wait another five minutes to get them written up. Then I had to go downstairs to the lab to get my glucose test done. I go in the office, and there are probably 10 other people waiting in the waiting room, waiting to get their blood drawn for something. Because basically the lab is to run tests for anyone who goes to any doctor associated with Upper Valley Medical. So I sign in, there are only two people running the lab, so it takes forever. I waited for 50 minutes. And then when the guy finally called my name, he looks at my paper to see the test I'm getting done and says, "Oh, you just need to drink the glucose drink. I wish you would have told us that as soon as you got here, we could have gave you that as soon as you got here, because you'll have to wait another hour. I feel bad you already waited here 50 minutes." Well how was I suppose to know I could just walk up there and say "I need a glucose test give it to me now!" When there were 10 other people in front of me. I thought it was common courtesy to wait your turn. Also, when I went to sign in, there was no one up front to even ask that. I was so mad, I was expecting the entire thing to last an hour. The drink itself wasn't too bad, of course I felt weird for the rest of the day. But now I'm really nervous because (let me say this blog entry was started on Thursday, and now today is Saturday)when I got home late last night there was a message left on my recorder from the doctor's office saying to call them back. Of course I can't call until Monday, so now the suspense is killing me. Because just like all the other experiences I've had with my current doctor and other doctors in the past. If the test results are perfectly fine, I never get a call, just the next appointment they are like "You're results came out clear, everything is fine." So I have a bad feeling this is a call that is going to tell me that I failed the glucose test, and probably will have to take the 3 hour one now. Boo. We'll see. But oddly I for the first time I'm looking forward Monday coming just so I can find out!