Saturday, September 24, 2011

Being pregnant means you're a delicate flower

Lately I've realize that being pregnant is somehow an handicap. Apparently being with child means I am a delicate flower that may crumble in pieces if your touch me. It's so weird how I am treated now that I'm pregnant. Being pregnant, I'm somehow missing out on all these fun things too. Now don't get me wrong, I know it's worth it all in the end, but while little baby bean is baking in the oven, I've somehow feel like being pregnant somehow makes me the outcast child that always gets left out of everything. OK maybe not necessarily left out of everything but definitely can't do the fun things because I'm pregnant, I almost feel the same way when I broke my leg twice. It made me appreciate my two legs, and being able to walk because having a broken leg I couldn't do anything. While I do have two working legs which is nice I still feel I can't do very much because I'm pregnant and apparently helpless.

For example lifting heavy things or anything remotely heavy. It's suddenly as if now that I'm pregnant carrying something 10 pounds or more makes people shriek and freak out. While I'm sure carrying something 10 pounds will not hurt me, after-all look at moms who are expecting their 2nd or 3rd child, and they are carrying around their 20 plus pound small child and they still have a healthy pregnancy and baby. While I'm like whatever you can carry that heavy thing because apparently I'm helpless, it just makes me laugh inside. Which reminds me of the other day when I had a volunteer at work who sent an email about how I was helping out with this event. In the email to the other volunteers it said, "Don't let Megan lift anything up that is heavy, she is pregnant." I had to laugh when I saw that in the email, first off I didn't think there would be anything heavy to lift at the event and I'm sure I would be perfectly fine lifting something up. It made me feel bad because when the event I watched 10 year old little girls move big stacks of chairs and my volunteer lift up chairs, and I felt bad watching them doing it, especially the younger girls considering the stacks were taller then they were. But I feared even offering to help because I didn't want to get scolded at for lifting something up because I'm pregnant. Which also reminds me of my mom (sorry mom to mention you in this post, I know you love and care about me) about a month ago, I had a giant maybe 20 pound tile cutter in my trunk that Matt used from my dad. I met my mom at the mall, so I brought it with me, and my mom who has back issues, ended up lifting it to her trunk, which I felt really bad about, but she refused that I lifted it. She said she didn't want to be responsible for sentimentally miscarrying her future grandchild. While I know my mom did this out of love, I still felt bad that she was harming her own back when I'm sure I could have done it myself, it really wasn't that heavy. I guess maybe I should just realize that people are only treating me like a fragile delicate flower because they care about me and my baby, which I am glad they do care, but I guess I don't like the feeling of be inadequate and helpless. I'm just not use to the one who needs helps when I like to be the one who helps others.

Not only am I a helpless delicate flower, but apparently doing fun things is out of the cards for me as well. Which I guess I need to just grow up and realize that this is part of being a mother, from now on having a social life will be a rarity. The other night my co-workers had a good bye party for my co-worker Claire. I made pumpkin spice cupcakes, for it, and then found out literally an hour beforehand that I had to help out my volunteers last minute. Which was fine, they really wanted me to come after-wards, but being a grumpy pregnant lady I just was tried, had a big headache (because I hit my head on the counter at work a few hours earlier) and just didn't feel like fraternizing and having fun, when normal non-pregnant Megan would have been there in a heartbeat. Which also reminds me of my brother Derrick wanting me to go to Cincy tonight to see this band, it's a local band, but I really like their sound and wouldn't mind seeing them. Which is funny me saying this as you know how I was complaining about my terrible experience at the concert I went to in my very first blog post. But this was a more chill band where I knew moshing would be less likely, it's not really the music to mosh to. I really wanted to go, but my voice of reason husband, told me there was no need for me to go for multiple reasons, which he was right about i.e loud noise to hurt the baby, especially now that I'm further along, standing up for awhile and I complained how miserable I was at the other concert. So I sadly declined, even though I really wanted to go. Also a few weeks ago we had special events for the United Way campaign, we had blindfolded musical chairs thing we could participate in. I signed up, slightly thinking maybe it wouldn't be a good idea for a pregnant woman to play musical chairs, but thought it sounded like so much fun and I really wanted to do it! Well my caring co-worker came up to me and told me she was concerned (which she had every right to) about me playing, in fear of being blindfolded and someone knocking me over. So I had to be a cheerleader instead, though I still had fun cheering on my co-worker Annie. I was her coach, and she did amazing, though I would have loved to have been playing!

Again while I know I can't do these things, and it's all in the good health of little Herman, it still stinks feeling like I live in a bubble. Which actually I should be living in a bubble as much as I've been hurting myself lately. (pregnant stupid brain) I mean after-all I can't drink, go sky-driving, ride a motorcycle, go roller-skating, probably not bike riding anymore, water-skiing, go in hot tubs, etc. But not like I've ever gone sky-driving, or regular ride on motorcycles, water-ski, or roller skate. But it's nice to know that I could do those things, but I guess knowing I can't do those things right now makes me sad, like the kid that never gets invited to birthday parties, left out of all the fun. Which makes me wonder, once I'm a mom will I even want to do any of those things? (well maybe still ride bikes) But probably not because taking care of my child and staying in one piece to take care of my child will be more important.So I guess it doesn't really matter if I can do these things or not. Because motherhood is full of sacrifices, even before birth, but it's definitely worth it. . .

1 comment:

  1. You don't know how much I need to read this blog right now! I just read the first two sentences and I want to shout "AMEN"!!! Lol. I can't read it all right now, we're in the process of moving and EVERYONE won't let me do a damn thing because "You're pregnant!" Since when is this a handicap, for real??? So, I look forward to enjoying the rest of this once we're all moved in <3