The worrying never stops

I thought with this being the second time around I wouldn't be such a worry wart, and freak out about everything during my pregnancy. Boy was I wrong! Just because this is my second pregnancy, doesn't mean I have worried less. When I was pregnant with Grant, I'm not going to lie, I was a bit neurotic with the worrying. Pretty much every pain I had I freaked out and thought maybe I was having a contraction. I had a fear of peeing in the toilet, and would check just make sure there wasn't any blood. I panicked with lack of movement, too much movement, and other random pains.

With this pregnancy, I told myself, I'm not going to worry. This is the second time I've been through this. I know what to expect. Ha, was I kidding myself. Just like with the first pregnancy, I couldn't wait to get the first ultrasound. The unknown, of not knowing if the baby is ok makes me freak out! It was such a relief to get that first ultrasound, and hear the baby's heartbeat. And then the doctor told me I wasn't far along as I thought I was, and that she saw this weird placental lake thing that could be a potential hemorrhage. It didn't help ease my mind at first when she kept staring at that but not confirming right away that there was a baby. I started to go in sheer panic mode as there was silence as she was looking around my uterus. Turns out there is a baby and he or she is doing just fine. The placental lake thing ended up going away after the second ultrasound, and the doctor wasn't too concerned about it unless I had some bleeding. (Which I didn't) As for the baby not being as far a long as I thought, here it turns out I probably just ovulated later. The doctor said as long as the baby's heartbeat is strong, I have nothing to worry about. I was such a relief to get an ultrasound!

After my second ultrasound, (which was two weeks after my first just to check on the placental lake thing) I had to wait another 4 weeks before my next doctor's appointment. Again the waiting for the next appointment to be able to hear the heartbeat was TORTURE. Even though I went through the same worrying with Grant, I still couldn't tell myself not to worry with this pregnancy. A week and a half after my appointment, I started getting some really bad stomach pains/cramps. I couldn't figure if it was round ligament pains, or cramps related to miscarrying, or actual stomach pains. The pain wouldn't go away and lasted for four days. During the weekend I told myself if this weird pain doesn't go away then I was going to call the doctor on Monday. And then on Monday, it finally hit me, that the pain wasn't round ligament pains, or cramps that I should be concerned about. But it was intestinal spasms that I got really bad three years ago, when I ended up getting diagnosed with IBS. It finally donned on me that the pain was the exact same. So it was a relief to realize that everything is perfectly find with my baby, and I just was having some stomach issues. As to the IBS, I discovered my trigger, dairy products. Which is devastating that I can't eat ice cream. It causes to much pain :( Apparently with IBS either it goes away or gets worse with pregnancy. With Grant, I was fine. With this baby, not so much. So after this whole big ordeal, I couldn't wait for my never appointment just to make sure baby bean is fine after all that crazy intestinal pains and cramps. Of course the baby was fine when they checked for the heartbeat this past Wednesday. It was nice to confirm that everything is just fine!

My other worry, which I need to try not to worry about because it won't help with my blood pressure, is worrying about getting high blood pressure, this pregnancy. So far my blood pressure has been stellar! I hope it stays that way. I get nervous every time they check my blood pressure. I don't want to get pre-e again this time! The doctor said it's pretty much unlikely for it to happen twice, but they still have to be cautious of it happening again.

I'm a freak of nature when it comes to worrying. But I'm glad to know that this baby bean is doing just fine despite my ridiculous amounts of worrying. I'm sure the worrying won't stop. Now that Grant is born, I still worry. The worrying didn't stop with him. And I'm sure it will be that way too with this baby. :)

P.S,- Sorry I have not been writing in my blog recently. I've been so busy!