Two verses one
It's funny how having two kids seems completely different than having one. I remember feeling like one kid was so much work. With one everything is so new and it's hard transition from just you and your spouse to a new little one. But once you get in the swing of things one seems easy peasy compared to two. It's amazing how my life has changed with having two. I have to completely change the way that I do things. One thing I have learned is its all about self managing your time.
Here is what I've learned adjusting to two:
1) You have to be ok while one or both of your kids crying for a little bit if you ever want to get ready and out the door for work.
Let me say the disclaimer that I'm not an advocate of letting babies cry it out, but I've come to terms that sometimes a baby has to cry. I try to make sure it's not too long, but if I let my baby not cry at all, I wouldn't be able to get ready. It was nice before I went back to work, because there were some days I didn't get dressed until noon mainly because I didn't have an opportunity to. Sometimes Holly cries when I get Grant ready. I've learned all I got to do is try to do the best that I can, and sometimes that may mean babies will cry.
2) My kids' morning schedule determines how I get ready that morning. And every morning its different.
Some mornings I get dressed, put my makeup on, and then get the kids ready. Those are the days when both kids decide to sleep in until 7:30 am. Other days I have to feed Holly first, some days I'm feeding Holly while putting my makeup. I've learned to prioritize and set my schedule to how my kids start their schedule.
3) You learn to pick and choose your battles.
Not that I have two, its hard to give full attention to a newborn while trying to give full attention to a two year old. Sometimes I let Grant do things that may necessary he shouldn't be doing, (nothing unsafe or bad) mainly because I'm trying to feed Holly, and I don't have time to nick pick and discipline him for every little bad thing he does. And if Grant really wants to run around the house with no pants on, then I let him run around with no pants on. (Which he actually does quite often)
4) It's impossible to give your attention 100% to just one kid. And you have to be ok with it.
One nice thing about having one, is that you can give him or her their under divided attention. But with two it's not going to happen. I feel bad sometimes, that I'm giving one child more attention over the other. I also feel like I should give Holly the same attention that I gave Grant as a baby, but then that means Grant isn't getting enough attention right now. It's hard to find the balance. But I've learned all I can do, is the best that I can, and give each child the amount of attention that they need at that moment.
5) Waking up in the middle of the night is easier with the second kid. It becomes part of routine by the time the second child rolls around.
It was rough waking up in the middle of the night with the first kid. But the second, its nothing. My body is already use to running on low amounts of sleep, that I'm pretty much wide awake when Holly wakes up in the middle of the night. And I can actually function on low amounts of sleep now too. It's weird how the body adjusts to that.
6) When one kid cries usually the other starts crying.
It's a viscous cycle. If Holly starts crying, Grant starts too. And sometimes he likes to fake cry and mimic her cry. And if Grant starts crying, it upsets Holly and she starts crying. So annoying.
7) Be prepare for your first child to regress when the second child is born.
Grant is getting better, but for a little bit he would cry like Holly. And start putting a pacifier in his mouth. He also would fuss and want his diaper changed anytime I would change Holly's diaper. It's only natural to start acting like a baby, when you are no longer the baby in the picture. Poor Grant.
8) Getting both kids to sleep at the same time so you can have a break is LITERALLY impossible.
I'm now a firm believer of sleep when the baby is sleeping. But the problem is, it is really hard to sleep when the baby is sleeping when one of them is awake. I pretty much can't take a nap or get anything done, because Holly and Grant do not like to sleep at the same time. Boo...
9) Taking care of a baby, is easier and feels like second nature the second time around.
Taking care of Grant was hard. Taking care of Holly is ten times easier! Not because she is a good baby, but I know what I'm doing. I feel more experienced. I know what to expect, so taking care of a baby isn't as daunting.
10) You don't care as much about keeping baby books, taking a bunch of pictures, and capturing every moment.
I still take pictures of Holly. But with Grant I went crazy with picture taking, and crazy with updating his baby book. I don't even have a baby book for Holly. And it's not like I don't care. It's mainly because I don't have time.
11) You find yourself constantly comparing the two kids.
At least I do. I'm constantly finding myself say how Holly does a certain something that Grant didn't. Or they both like a certain something. I don't even do it in a bad way, like trying to say one is better than the other. But I guess it feels natural to compare how Holly is different and similar to Grant. Now that I have more than one child, I have something to make comparisons too.
12) You use double the amount of everything.
I fill up the diaper pail quicker. (Pretty much in four days) I pay double the amount in child care. I do the laundry so much more now. It's so easy to use up things quicker with two.
13) You still have enough love to go around.
One of my biggest fears was that I would either love Grant more, or have more love for Holly. But to my surprise, the love for my children is unconditional, and not more than the other. I love my two little sweethearts!
Here is what I've learned adjusting to two:
1) You have to be ok while one or both of your kids crying for a little bit if you ever want to get ready and out the door for work.
Let me say the disclaimer that I'm not an advocate of letting babies cry it out, but I've come to terms that sometimes a baby has to cry. I try to make sure it's not too long, but if I let my baby not cry at all, I wouldn't be able to get ready. It was nice before I went back to work, because there were some days I didn't get dressed until noon mainly because I didn't have an opportunity to. Sometimes Holly cries when I get Grant ready. I've learned all I got to do is try to do the best that I can, and sometimes that may mean babies will cry.
2) My kids' morning schedule determines how I get ready that morning. And every morning its different.
Some mornings I get dressed, put my makeup on, and then get the kids ready. Those are the days when both kids decide to sleep in until 7:30 am. Other days I have to feed Holly first, some days I'm feeding Holly while putting my makeup. I've learned to prioritize and set my schedule to how my kids start their schedule.
3) You learn to pick and choose your battles.
Not that I have two, its hard to give full attention to a newborn while trying to give full attention to a two year old. Sometimes I let Grant do things that may necessary he shouldn't be doing, (nothing unsafe or bad) mainly because I'm trying to feed Holly, and I don't have time to nick pick and discipline him for every little bad thing he does. And if Grant really wants to run around the house with no pants on, then I let him run around with no pants on. (Which he actually does quite often)
4) It's impossible to give your attention 100% to just one kid. And you have to be ok with it.
One nice thing about having one, is that you can give him or her their under divided attention. But with two it's not going to happen. I feel bad sometimes, that I'm giving one child more attention over the other. I also feel like I should give Holly the same attention that I gave Grant as a baby, but then that means Grant isn't getting enough attention right now. It's hard to find the balance. But I've learned all I can do, is the best that I can, and give each child the amount of attention that they need at that moment.
5) Waking up in the middle of the night is easier with the second kid. It becomes part of routine by the time the second child rolls around.
It was rough waking up in the middle of the night with the first kid. But the second, its nothing. My body is already use to running on low amounts of sleep, that I'm pretty much wide awake when Holly wakes up in the middle of the night. And I can actually function on low amounts of sleep now too. It's weird how the body adjusts to that.
6) When one kid cries usually the other starts crying.
It's a viscous cycle. If Holly starts crying, Grant starts too. And sometimes he likes to fake cry and mimic her cry. And if Grant starts crying, it upsets Holly and she starts crying. So annoying.
7) Be prepare for your first child to regress when the second child is born.
Grant is getting better, but for a little bit he would cry like Holly. And start putting a pacifier in his mouth. He also would fuss and want his diaper changed anytime I would change Holly's diaper. It's only natural to start acting like a baby, when you are no longer the baby in the picture. Poor Grant.
8) Getting both kids to sleep at the same time so you can have a break is LITERALLY impossible.
I'm now a firm believer of sleep when the baby is sleeping. But the problem is, it is really hard to sleep when the baby is sleeping when one of them is awake. I pretty much can't take a nap or get anything done, because Holly and Grant do not like to sleep at the same time. Boo...
9) Taking care of a baby, is easier and feels like second nature the second time around.
Taking care of Grant was hard. Taking care of Holly is ten times easier! Not because she is a good baby, but I know what I'm doing. I feel more experienced. I know what to expect, so taking care of a baby isn't as daunting.
10) You don't care as much about keeping baby books, taking a bunch of pictures, and capturing every moment.
I still take pictures of Holly. But with Grant I went crazy with picture taking, and crazy with updating his baby book. I don't even have a baby book for Holly. And it's not like I don't care. It's mainly because I don't have time.
11) You find yourself constantly comparing the two kids.
At least I do. I'm constantly finding myself say how Holly does a certain something that Grant didn't. Or they both like a certain something. I don't even do it in a bad way, like trying to say one is better than the other. But I guess it feels natural to compare how Holly is different and similar to Grant. Now that I have more than one child, I have something to make comparisons too.
12) You use double the amount of everything.
I fill up the diaper pail quicker. (Pretty much in four days) I pay double the amount in child care. I do the laundry so much more now. It's so easy to use up things quicker with two.
13) You still have enough love to go around.
One of my biggest fears was that I would either love Grant more, or have more love for Holly. But to my surprise, the love for my children is unconditional, and not more than the other. I love my two little sweethearts!
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| I love my two cutie pies! |
I love this post. I am so glad you shared your perspective about going from one to two! My fear is that Forrest will feel neglected, and lonely when I am paying attention to a new baby, because you know how demanding newborn babies can be. Something tells me that I need to invest in a really good baby wrap, and learn how to nurse while multi-tasking!!
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