Now that Grant is getting bigger, he is starting to hit milestones. And as I surround myself with my friends, co-workers, and the internet community of other mothers, I am constantly finding myself comparing Grant to other people's children. Which I should not do. I know it is TERRIBLE. But again my competitive nature is a disease. So when someone tells be so and so is sitting up or rolling, I don't instantly think "Ah that is great, he is growing so fast!". I think "Oh my gosh Grant is a month older than that baby, and STILL not rolling." Now I know babies move at there own pace developmentally. And have a window for hitting these milestones. So just because Grant isn't doing something yet doesn't mean he isn't. He'll get there when he does, but when I hear of other people telling me there baby is doing something, I want to be that obnoxious person that says, well my baby is doing handstands.
I know I really need to tone done the competitive thing. Everything is not a competition. But to put things in perspective, I was like this even at the age of 12-13 years old. My youngest brother Derrick, is 8 years younger then me, so I found myself taking the mother role with him. I know that 8 years old isn't that big of an age difference. But again me being me, I felt it in my nature to be motherly towards him. So when Derrick was about 3-4 years old, I remember bragging to other people that he could count to 10. Someone was talking about their kid, and I said "Oh well Derrick is doing really good with counting, he can actually count to 10." Looking back at this I laugh for several reasons. One being, what 12 year old talks or thinks like this? Bragging about what their SIBLING not even child could do that others cannot. Second, why was I making into a braggingfest? Really who cares if Derrick can count 4 more numbers than so and so? He's 20 years old know, and now it doesn't really make a difference that he knew how to count 4 more numbers than another child at the age of 3. So why did I even care? Again I had to make it into a competition.
So really I shouldn't let it get to me and I try my hardest not, because little Grant really is doing wonderfully! He loves to grab everything. Apparently tonight he thought he could drink out of a glass like everyone else. He kept throwing a fit when I wouldn't give him my glass of water to drink out of. He just started becoming a rolling machine. He giggles non-stop. He knows his name now. And he likes to say "Hi". I'm not sure if it is intentional at this point or if he is just repeating us. But it always seems like he says "Hi" in the right context. So really I can't complain. And in all honesty, I'm making the competition with myself. It's not even like it is with anyone. I just think everything in like must be a competition. Which guess what Megan it is not. Sigh. One day I'll figure that out. I just HOPE and pray that Grant doesn't inherit my competitive nature. People joke with me that I will be extremely competitive with my children, and I won't let them win in games. Which that part is true, I'm not going to let Grant win in games. What is the fun in that? He needs to learn how to lose and win some. Hopefully I'll tone down the competitiveness when Grant get's older. Let's hope at least.. .
|One day I'll beat mommy in the game of blocks.|