Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Grant and his daddy

About a week and a half ago I had to go to a work conference in Chicago. I had to be gone for 3 nights and 4 days. I originally agreed to go on this trip early in July, when Grant didn't hit his severe "I love my mommy, and I want to be attached to her hip at all times stage". I figured by the time he hit 8 months, he would be ok to be without him mommy for a couple of days. Well then he hit the stage, where he didn't want to be with anyone but his mommy. Even Matt trying to calm him down or console him didn't work. So as I got closer and closer to the beginning of November, I began to have anxiety I feared the worse. I started to panic, and worry that Matt was going to hate me for going on this trip. That Grant would be so inconsolable and upset that Matt would have to call me in the middle of the night BEGGING me to come back.

Not only was I going out of town, but Matt was going out of town to a wedding. He was going to St. Louis for his cousin's wedding. So the thought of traveling with a baby on a six hour trip also worried me. Matt's mom and aunt were going to ride with him, but I was still worried Grant was not going to corporate in the car ride. Preparing to pack for a baby for Matt was a difficult task. According to Matt I packed way too much. But better be prepared than not have enough clothes, diaper, or food for a baby. So I had everything very organized. Grant's suitcase, had a specific listing of where everything was in the suitcase, whether that be in the front compartment or the main compartment. I also gave a list of things to remember to take with him before he left. I was prepared.

But not emotionally prepared. It ended up being rougher on me to leave Grant than it was for him. Surprisingly Grant did really well in my absence. When I left Grant with Matt, Grant was sleeping, which I think helped make the transition with being with just Matt easier. Throughout the weekend, I called on the trip several times surprised to hear that everything was going perfectly fine. I can't tell you how many times I would check my phone waiting for Matt to call in sheer panic, telling me "Why in the hell did you leave me with Grant all weekend?" Surprisingly those calls never came in.  I was the one calling every five seconds, making sure everything was fine. And it was fine. Grant had really good nights of sleep. When he did wake up, Matt gave him a bottle and he went right back to sleep. Which surprised me, because that never happens with me. Grant ends up  waking up and crying as soon as I put him back in his bed. Apparently Grant slept the entire car ride to St. Louis and back. Which also surprised me considering the last trip, it was really hard to entertain him. Really the theme of the weekend was Grant sleeping, and being very clingy to Matt.

I was so impressed that things went so well with Matt and Grant. And so happy to that Grant has such a wonderful Daddy to take care of him. Since Grant has been born, Matt has blown me away with how loving and nurturing he is towards Grant. My heart lights up every time I see Grant and Matt interact. I don't know what I was expecting how Matt was going to be when Grant was born. I wasn't expecting he was going to be a terrible dad. I knew he was going to be good. I guess I just didn't realize how good. With Matt as a parent, I see a side of him that I didn't even knew existed. And I absolutely love him more for that. It was reassuring to know that Grant didn't have a traumatic experience in my absence. He was perfectly content when I was gone, and acted as if I never left.

One of my favorite first pictures of Grant with his Daddy
 I was more of a baby when Grant was gone, I had a ridiculous meltdown on Sunday when we were shopping in Chicago, when I realized that we weren't getting home until really late. I missed Grant so much I just couldn't wait to see him. Ironically when I got home, he was sound asleep, and didn't wake up until the morning. But when he saw me, he gave the biggest smile, and it made me so happy to see him finally after four days.

Of course when I came back Grant went back to his not sleeping very well, and very clingy to me. Matt kept telling me that Grant didn't do those things when he was with him. But it's a little different when Grant is with his mommy. I am just so glad that everything went well, and that Matt is such a wonderful father. I am so lucky to have a great husband who is a great dad. Grant and Matt will have some great father son bonding throughout the years. Even though Grant is attached to his mommy, like most babies are to their mothers, his daddy holds a special place in his heart.

I love my daddy

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